Review Requests: ON
2,520 Public Reviews Given
2,576 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Minimalist. Focus on technical. I also look at how a work would fit into the traditional publishing landscape. I don't use a template. Warning: I am Australian, and so cultural differences may apply.
Favorite Genres
Most, really.
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and essays.
I will not review...
I will not review porn, fan-fiction or pro-religious/OTT-pro-USA essays. No interactives either, please.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Good story with a strong ending. A decision made that was, ultimately, probably for the best.

However, the opening was irrelevant to what the story was about, and only served to confuse the narrative. The decision-making was not needed; just that she read the book a lot when her husband was away. Especially for flash, you want to keep the padding to an absolute minimum.

Technically, one little error, so really clean.

A good story all up, though. Good luck going forward.


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2
2
Review of My Rage is Quiet  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


A short poem, but you state so much. No, we don't need to be educated to see that there is something "wrong", and this states just that.

I read poetry out loud, and this one came out quite sad. The repeat of "And" in the last stanza helps that. It was easy to read and emote with as well.

So a really strong effort. Brevity is not an issue. Good luck going forward.


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3
3
Review of I remember…  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us. It cannot be easy coming from a non-native English speaking background and baring your soul like this to strangers.

There are a lot of spelling mistakes here, homophone errors, punctuation errors and too many run-on sentences. It does make it difficult to read at times. I would recommend sitting down with a human editor (Grammarly is useless) and going through to see how things can be improved.

Do not stop writing; just do not be afraid to ask for help. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


You have put forward an interesting piece here. You have brought up some interesting points and some decent comparisons. I live in a country where social media is banned for under-16-year-olds, and already we have seen some improvements in social behaviours at schools, but it is easy for children to bypass the ban.

However, you start this talking about social media and mental health and end up talking about banning it, comparing to the fast food industry, which is disingenuous because social media is consumed differently and does not cost; there are societal pressures to use it, not to eat Big Macs. If a fast food outlet served poison or served rat instead of chicken, they would be prosecuted; if social media serves lies instead of knowledge, they are not - that is a huge difference.

As a piece, the formatting was odd. Not sure why it was formatted this way. But there were a lot of spelling errors (responsibility is the way that word is spelt), verb errors and punctuation errors. This needs a very thorough edit.

So, while the core of this is sound, some of the arguments do not hold and the prose is an issue. Good luck going forward.


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5
5
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
OVERVIEW: A strong story. The idea of the gargoyles being imprisoned and needing one of the bloodline to save them worked well. The coincidence of that being the last man to live there is never an issue in horror; predetermined is more like it. The only issue I have is the explanation of the past, the priest-architect. Adding that did feel convenient. I personally would have left it that the narrator was of the bloodline and that was enough for them to be bonded. The familial tie did not work; if you feel something needs to be there, I would make this much vaguer and less definite.
PROMPT: Perfectly incorporated.
HORROR: The use of short sentences and single line paragraphs, the pacing of the action, it all worked well. Maybe a little more about the physiology of the narrator could have heightened it, but horror was throughout..
TECHNICAL: Clean, except Demona became Mara a few times. I’d stick with one name.
CONCLUSION: A really strong piece. Nicely done.
4.5/5 1st place


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6
6
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
OVERVIEW: Okay, the killer was obvious from the get-go, but your ending I did not see coming – well done! It is so rare I do not se the ending coming. I thought at the least she would take over, but to join him? Nice work. And the story is presented in an interesting manner. It starts as a tell, giving us some nice descriptions of the city and the atmosphere, but less so of the people. But the show grows as Ethel comes to know her beau until, at the end, we can see where she has come from with that simply, “Teach me.”
PROMPT: Perfect.
HORROR: While this is verging on crime, the joining together at the end takes it from crime to a horror, one of submitting to a lover, or rising to be with him – however you look at it. Like I said, the gradual rise in show helps this creepiness.
TECHNICAL: Watch your maths – start with 10 killings, then 2 a week for 4 weeks, which is 8, so 18… and yet there’s 15 killings. Otherwise, quite clan.
CONCLUSION: A strong story, and one that, like I said, went not where I could see. Good work.
4.5/5 =3rd place


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7
7
Review of 2026-Once a week!  
for entry "The Blue Rose" 
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
OVERVIEW: Nice use of the idea of a myth come to life, with the legend told by Nami before coming to pass, time being allowed to elapse so the reader could forget that it was mentioned. The blossoming love, possibly one-sided, makes the ending feel inevitable, but not the less hear-breaking. And the reader is left with the impression that Ethan could well have been lying, that Elise was just another victim. However, the driving away in a modern car – Audi – did make the ghost reveal feel wrong. The house, maybe it was his old house, preserved through ghostly magic, but a modern car? How would a long-dead person know about it, or even need it? It might be little, but it drew me out.
PROMPT: Horror-romance, definitely.
HORROR: The horror was muted. The situation and ending were certainly horrific, but the emotional impact felt diluted. For example, the ending, she cried as she cut. Where is the feeling of the skin opening, the cold steel going into flesh, the warmth of the blood flowing out, her breathing growing quicker, her heart rate becoming irregular, sweat, her far, her doubts? Don’t be afraid to really go for it with the internals of what your PoV character is going through. Make the reader wince as she performs the actions; drag the reader along into the horror.
TECHNICAL: A couple of missing commas, but that’s about it, really. Clean otherwise.
CONCLUSION: A decent story, and with 500 words to play with, one that cried out for a more visceral experience in the sensations of Elise.
4/5


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8
8
Review of Hearts Entwined.  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
OVERVIEW: This is close to being a piece of flash fiction. The horror is very explicit and works well, and I did not see where the story was going; my thoughts of how it would end were very wrong, so well done on surprising me. I like that you did not say what Douglas was, and left the ending very open.
PROMPT: Oh yes, very much a horror romance.
HORROR: This is where it falls a little flat. Because the word count was so truncated, we did not get just how scared, terrified, confused, everything else Daphne was. We didn’t need that for Douglas, but we did for her, so that we could feel what she was feeling and get a sense of her far and her horror. The physiology, the thoughts, what she could smell and hear – all of it could have made this even creepier and more horrific. As it was, there was a muted feeling about the tale.
TECHNICAL: Very clean, though “god” in this sense usually has a capital letter.
CONCLUSION: A fine tale, one that works as a piece of flash, but could have been really creepy.
4/5


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9
9
Review of one night  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


What a sweet little poem, love coming even over text from someone we adore can make the whole world feel different. You have captured that sudden change quite nicely in this little poem.

"...felt distinct than usual..." feels like there should be a word between felt and distinct; "more" maybe?

Now, I read poetry out loud, and this was an easy one to speak.

Nice effort. Good luck going forward.


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10
10
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
An interesting little brief scene, with a couple witnessing a religious rite (nice use of Latin, though ora pro nobis should be nobis ora - pray for us; also note, the Latin words should be italicised, which is usual for foreign language words in English text). kissing, and then being confronted by a presence.

This felt like a small scene from a longer work; I am guessing that is why you have called it a "novel", as this is just one scene from a work of that length.

Not sure about Shakespearean; more like a Hammer Horror film scene.

Technically, clean. Really well done!

So an interesting little scene. It makes the whole work sound interesting. Good luck going forward.


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11
11
Review of A Dance with Pain  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


A strong poem about emotion and how they should not be avoided but embraced. You look at the good and the bad, speaking from personal experience, but also some universals. Some strong words come out, but there are also some that feel too general.

Now, I read poetry out loud, and some of the lines are way too long to be spoken comfortably. All I would suggest is cutting them - all have natural pause places where cuts will not affect the meaning or sentiment.

Still, a strong poem. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review of Tremor.  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


An earthquake must be a terrifying thing to go through, and you have captured that nicely in this little poem. The build, the sudden stop, everything happening in a mass chaos.

The rhymes were okay, though some felt forced, and you rhymed "table" with "table", which really did not feel right.

I read poetry out loud, and this meant I could get past some of the rhymes, but the lack of consistent rhythm made it an awkward read. A more uniform syllable count would have helped keep the ease of reading going.

Still, a decent poem. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
Review of Dear Krista  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


This was a sad little letter-writing tale. An admission to a long-distance relationship that things had gotten out of control back home and that their lives would never be the same again. I especially liked the subtle under-tone that Todd actually still loves Krista and is only with Sherrie to do the right thing. The hint of blame of Krista is also there for leaving him. His own proclamations of guilt feel more like lip-service. But that is just the way I read it.

Technically, very clean.

But this was really well done, and did not overstay it's welcome at all. Good luck going forward.


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14
14
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Rather meta - a poem about a poet being inspired to write a poem, which is then written within the poem. This was an interesting way to describe the attack of a muse.

I read poetry out loud, and this rolled off the tongue easily. A good rhythm. My only suggestion would be th scripted poem is maybe italicised to separate it a little more from the rest of the poem. I can se it is right aligned, but that dos not really stand out. Or maybe a different colour?

Still, I like this. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I find it as interesting to rad about why people DON'T do things as to why they do. I have given steampunk a go a couple of times and was not very successful. It can be intimidating, and you do put that forth without quite saying those words. If you do want to give it a go, what was recommended to me was look at one thing operating in the steampunk manner, and not all of society, and work from there.

But you have put forward an interesting and compelling argument. But, as a complete pantser myself, I say do not let that sort of writing style hold you back from this genre.

Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


One of the things I enjoy reading is when something makes me think and contemplate and then actually do.

This was just that. I read it for the Anniversary reviews, and then straight away got onto the phone to my son. For a few years he would call his great-grandma once a month (my ex's grandma, now aged 102) and ask her questions about her life growing up. I translated the old woman's diary into a book for her, but he wanted more detail. It stopped as university took over. This made me ring him and tell him to keep doing it. She won't be around forever.

This brief essay really made me look at it and think about the same sort of thing. That you sparked something in your tale of a hoarder who just wanted the stories to be there showsd the power of your words.

Thank you and good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

What a fun dialogue. Two kids getting to know one another while grandma and dad fall for each other, eating chocolate, at the bowling alley! An awful lot happening here, but it works well with the dialogue, the way kids just meeting share everything.

Maybe there was a little too much going on? The kids seemed more obsessed with the food anyway.

Technically very clean.

Fun tale. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
Review of John Lennon  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Lennon was a contradiction in many ways, and as a fan, and as someone for whom his death was the first famous one that I understood, I also find him to be too human in many ways.

This brief little piece shows that humanity in the final words he spoke. A simple, "I'm shot." No great witticisms, just something human. Maybe that was why so many of his songs resonated with so many people.

Technically, this was fine.

Factually, Ogden Nash did not say that quote. It is a paraphrase of Oscar Wilde: “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”

Still, a good look at the humanity of talent. Good luck going forward.


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19
19
Review of Grim  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Interesting concept of being the next to take the mantle of Grim, probably the latest in a long line. But this was focused on James - why wasn't he the one to be given the scythe? Just an unnamed person at the end? We were with James the whole way, and then he meant nothing.

The start, going from the ICU to a dream dirt place where he was attacked by a werewolf... this was odd. Not sure why there should be a creature like that in the afterlife, especially just to be killed by the Grim Reaper. I can see why he understood who the Reaper was, though, as he was resigned to his fate by this point.

Now, I am not sure the word count you had to work with, but this was way too much tell and not enough show. That lack of emotional connection - except for one or two small descriptions - mutes the horror and makes it feel like almost an outline. We are in a closed 3rd person PoV, so we should be feeling everything, physiologically as well as emotionally and sensory, but we just get told what is happening. This has potential to be a really chilling story, though.

But why wasn't James the chosen one? Why focus on him if that wasn't the case?

Technically, fine, but a few words missing and one or two misused tenses. Needs an edit.

Good luck going forward.


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20
20
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Writing this from the PoV of the person with depression is a brave move, but as someone who knows it all too well, I can see a lot of what you have said here. The admission of being depressed, though, is often hard to come to. You feel broken, but if you admit you're depressed, then it feels like nothing because depression is looked down upon so much in society.

I read poetry out loud, and I have to say, there were times when this wanted to be read angrily. That is an interesting concept, being angry at one's depression. But it does work as a spoken piece.

Not sure what else to say. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (2.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


This was really tough to read.

The lack of paragraphs and lack of punctuation (resulting in way too many run-on sentences) meant the meaning was completely shrouded. It was also a lot of tell and not a lot of show, meaning the horror was muted. You told us that things were scary and gave us some physical description, but there was no emotion in the writing. This is a first person PoV tale, so you had such wide scope to examine all the senses and make the reader feel what the character is feeling.

The idea is there, but it does need a technical go-over. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
Review of Goin' Fishing  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I live in a small town where the locals mostly fish. This poem rings so true it is scary. It does not matter how full the freezer, if the fish are biting, there they are. You've captured that attitude well.

Now, I read poetry out loud, and the rhyming scheme of this poem demanded a little bit more of a constant rhythm. Some of the lines felt awkward to say.

Still, fun little poem. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
Review of Weighed Down  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


This poem comes across at the start as someone struggling to cope with life in general. The use of old cliches was well done, as it makes the feelings expressed universal. The idea of waiting for someone to "pounce" adds to the feeling.

Then at the end, there is "scared i'll ruin us"... This makes it feel like the rest of the poem was about a relationship, but that does not scan with the way the poem reads. So there is that point of confusion.

Technically fine, for a poem. I was going to mention the lack of a capital "I" but realise it is most likely deliberate, making the narrator to be lesser.

So a fine poem, but the end lost me. Good luck going forward.
24
24
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


An interesting little meet-cute. A fear that is not that uncommon, and the fact emotion for another overcame it was a sweet little tale. Victor being bullied and having to go out at night to try to conquer his fear made sense, and gave the opportunity for the meet well.

Technically, there are a few verb tense changes that need looking at. But direct speech is the biggest issue. A lot of issues around punctuation of direct speech, and every time a new person speaks, it should be a new paragraph. There were times when the speaker was not clear. So this really does need a thorough and complete edit.

Also a lot of the story was "tell" as opposed to show. Let us feel with Victor more. Make us feel the relief of him going into the water, the way his head changes when he gets to know Raven, things like that.

So a fine story, and I think it has the potential to be so much more. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
Review of Ocean Fling  
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


A fun little poem, addressed to a boat who decided to go her own way. I like the personification of the vessel without actually personifying it; it is a fine line and you've walked it well.

I read poetry out loud, and this was an easy poem to read. My only thing was the last line; the odd word order felt unnatural, making it almost a forced rhyme.

Still, fun poem, good job, and good luck going forward.


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