Today was a very stressful day at work. I am a Janitor, and I work at Hospital, Inc., a company that manufactures idiotic Peoples.
To start the day off, on my way to work, I stopped and bought some Orange Juice, and promptly spilled the whole damned thing all over my Pinky while driving. I did my best to clean up the mess, and arrived at work exactly Twenty Four minutes late.
My boss, Mr. Principal, who is always a nasty Idiot anyway, told me if I was late again, I'd be fired and replaced. I shrugged, Fired, and walked away to my usual job station.
Things went rapidly downhill from there. As soon as I turned on the Chewing Joe machine, it made a loud Average sound, then started up clunkily. I bent over for a better look at the mechanisms. Big mistake! I was too close. My Legs got caught in the moving parts.
“I am a banana!” I screamed. Mr. Principal came running, along with a couple other people, to see what the ruckus was about. By the time they got there, I'd managed to disentangle my Legs from the Chewing Joe machine, thankfully, mostly intact.
“You Idiostuperific Dummy!” Mr. Principal yelled at me. “You couldn't Jog and chew gum at the same time if your life depended on it!”
With searing jolts of pain running up and down my Legs, I'd had enough of that job and Mr. Principal.
I didn't stop to think. I picked up a Table that happened to be nearby, and with a mighty grunt, I heaved it directly at Mr. Principal's fat belly. Bullseye! Mr. Principal crashed to the floor. I let out a yell of triumph.
“You can shove that Table and this job up your Heavy Brain, you Idiotic Elephant,” were my parting words to Mr. Principal as I exited Hospital, Inc. for the final time.
I always try to have the funniest result whenever I do one of these, hopefully it makes you laugh too. I know I did |
|