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11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Alchemy  
Review by Sam Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this. Some particular favourite lines:
“Your eyes see me whole”
“You are my favourite zip code”
“Tongue-and-cheek chemistry,
a matinee in Piccadilly.
You taste of a life lived
with lime on the side” (with lime on the side is *chefs kiss*)
“My body sprawled like half made art”

These moments work because they’re precise, tonally confident, and lean into metaphor without piling on.

Now, usually I don’t really critique or add advice on here, but I will for this one… and only because I honestly think this has so much potential… full transparency; it’s better than most of what I read on here.

There are stretches where the poem stacks images without giving the reader time to absorb the last one:
“scented with lilies, spiced with heat”
“butterflies swarm, time folds still, the quartet swells”
“Desire quivers, sweeter than jaggery, rarer than emeralds and rubies, smoother than milk and honey”

Each image on its own would work. Together, they blur.

Some of the images drift into cliches (but I feel like this might be intentional, and even work in a lot of places)

“Venus colliding with Mars” “milk and honey”
These are some of your weaker metaphors, in my opinion. It’s mythic shorthand, not personal. The poem is strongest when the intimacy feels lived rather than archetypal.

I liked this. I liked it a lot, even. But some parts felt a little “over written” to me. I think with some editing this could be a real power house, and certainly is publishable
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Review of Validation  
Review by Sam Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
This circles such a poignant struggle for all writers, and indeed all creatives, I think. I often find myself questioning why I write, if anyone is even reading, why all this effort for something that will surely never “matter”.

I’m reminded of a quote from “Letters to a Young Poet”by by Rainer Marie Rilke;
“ Go within. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must”, then build your life in accordance with this necessity”

We write because we simply must. Thanks for the reminder and for sharing
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Review of Daddy  
Review by Sam Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Wow. What a heartbreaking and powerful piece. No notes- Thank you so much for sharing.
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Review by Sam Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
I’ve often wondered what it would be like living in one of these types of spaces… I love when poetry gives me a glimpse into human life totally different and foreign to mine. I enjoyed getting a little view of your world, thank you for sharing.
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Review of Fragile Skin  
Review by Sam Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
This poem has such a gorgeous, visceral opening- that image of honey coating the tongue and dripping to the bones is so sensual and healing, and the idea of it "gluing the cracked pieces" together is really powerful.

If I had to add a suggestion, I might say the middle could be tightened slightly. The lines about the shield that "gnaws on kindness" and will "devour you as well" feel a bit abstract compared to the physical imagery you start with. Maybe you could try leaning more into that body/physical metaphor throughout and see what happens?… like how does this person's touch actually feel against that armor? What does it look like when kindness gets "gnawed on"?

I thought the ending was perfect, looping back to the namesake and"my fragile skin" brings us right back to that intimate, physical vulnerability from the beginning.
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Review by Sam Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
I love how you contrast the fairy tale expectations we grew up with against the reality of searching faces "marred by time and experience" that mirror your own. That's such an honest, relatable moment.

The three "that woman" sections work well to show the different ways we imagine our future selves, though I'd suggest maybe tightening up the language a bit.. some phrases like "chains of fear and anxiety" and "ravages of time" feel a little cliche when the rest of your voice is so authentic and direct.

"letting hope and dreams dance in the limelight of possibility" is a lovely way to close it.
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