This is great fun. i love the narrative / subject conversation, it overtakes what could be a story of some sort an produces some great banter.
I think that this could be a good formula for a much wider story with interspersed arguments and plot twists. I also think that you could use the narrative voice to confuse other charachters in a bigger story, you could have some real fun with this.
I think this could have been a little longer, it stops just short of an rounded ending, I think that means I want more!.
I love this, short but with so many questions to be asked, thought provoking.
I like it when you have to totallly suspend your disbelief and just fall into a story. It's make me think about one I'm writing on the same subject, but a totally different approach. I'll post it up soon.
I'll have a peek through your other works shortly...
I love Monty Python style banter (funny man, straight man) thing you have going on. I also love the silliness of it. I particularly like the way we are introduced to the baffoon of a knight and the fact that all but the squire are oblivious to the fact that he's a berk!
Great fun.
Jay....
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