This was interesting, the way that you have been able to allow the reader to see what the gaurds are having to watch over at the stores. The details you have written here show what they may expect to find there. You are able to allow allow us to see what they are experiencing at the job site. The dangers that the public has to face in the store.
You have written a good story.
This is good. You have a muraclous way to speak of your favorite team. You are able to draw the reader into your realm. We feel the excitement that you feel as you watch the team play. You are able to allow us to understand these things. You have been able to allow the reader to feel your excitement in the game.
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