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Review by Oddt427 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This was a fantastic, albeit disturbing read. I enjoyed the way that you fleshed out the man's person; you conveyed his uncertainties and nervousness very well. The woman could have been given a bit more life, as she seemed to be fairly static (though, as you mentioned, she leads a fairly static lifestyle, by the looks of it). The word choice was phenomenal, and I enjoyed the manner in which you sprinkled in a few metaphors, such as "like a lost sparrow unsure of where to land." The conversation was prime. All that I feel you should work on is making your characters a tad more dynamic. Aside from that, A+!
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