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for entry "Chapter Two: Kasity" 
Review by ocamrazor Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hi Emeryn...

Here are my two cents:

Nicely done:
* words to picture time and place.
* Hooks from one paragrah to the next flow flawlessly.

I am not too sure about:
I am reading up to chapter 2 and yet unable to identify where the story is heading maybe because I miss the introduction of conflicts at the previous chapters.

Positive result after reading your story:
I think I pick up how and when to use '___' and '...', thanks.
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