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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Mr. Gray  
Review by n8gray Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
That was an incredible story. The pacing is a little rough. Maybe a little more description of Arnie's parents besides neighborhood watch and bake sales. They feel like clichés used as band-aids to rush past them. I understand why, since they are not important to the Rena / Gray / Arnie triangle, but it could round Arnie out more, adding a layer of empathy that will be betrayed when they learn that Arnie caused Rena's kidney being crushed. I was unclear what "just a tooth and her reputation ruined." meant. Was her reputation ruined from being in the car with Arnie? Overall, i liked the double twist. great job.
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Review by n8gray Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
A very neat, quick story. I enjoyed it immensely. Very nice creation of setting with just a few sentences and I liked the Bezellean mystery added just before the punchline. Well done.
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