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Review of Changing Wishes  Open in new Window.
Review by MaximumWrites Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You know what, I really enjoyed this piece. It's not often that I find a poem I really vibe with, but I think all of us can relate to a wish. It gives me a familiar feeling of when I was growing up. It's almost like a nostalgic poem. Really good work mate, keep writing.
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Review of Sorry...My Fault  Open in new Window.
Review by MaximumWrites Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Going in, I knew I wasn't going to give this a high rating. Though it might seem harsh, I have a few problems with your story formatting. It might not seem like much, but the way you layout your writing means a lot. For instance I would suggest indenting your work, putting two or so spaces between each paragraphs and lengthening the actual paragraphs. You have an issue with run-on sentences, as do I. You use a lot of comma-splices, again, so do I. I believe some of the ways you word your sentences is a bit awkward, for example, "Majoring in elementary education was the main reason that I felt a little bit more suicidal today than I usually do." You might read this and not see anything wrong with it, it's honestly preference.

I would consider wording it something like "Majoring in elementary education was the main reason I felt a little more depressed today."

I didn't add "than I usually do" because saying "a little more depressed today" gave the insinuation that it's greater than most days. I believe detail in writing is important, but if you don't need a word, or even a sentence, try and correct it. All in all, I liked the idea of what you were trying to do, but I think you should work on your execution. Keep writing my friend.
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