wow. I would love for you to keep writing. It's good. Just gotta slow down with the typos or wrong words but I can tell you're writing fast and it comes from the heart. Thanks for sharing! Keep writing and sharing on here please.
I like it. Scatter brained might not be the best word to use (maybe something that means "exhausted" instead, from the sounds of it) but hey it's your story. It just sounded more like the brain was under strain than it was scattered. Thanks for sharing!
I like it. I don't want to s*** on your work bc it's very from the heart. I feel the ideas (but I will anyway lol) could be refined a little more in the beginning. "like glue to paper,
when really they were the water,
as I was vapor." confuses me a little. I think I understand what you are saying but you could clarify more maybe, refine your idea or just make it more clear. But whatever it's your poem. "Felt my machinery isn't up to date
with theirs, like an old rusty clock that doesn't
count time anymore." I mean I get what you're saying here but I feel you could word it better? I don't know. Keep writing though. Maybe you're a new writer or just one with murkier thoughts but I would say keep writing like I said. I hope you do keep writing bc it was good and I think the poem has a lot of potential, plus it's good just the way it is too because it came from your heart, and that's always the best writing in my opinion.
un: 
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