The Positive:
I felt that the characters were real people: they have wants and desires. There is definitely the hint of a conflict and I think that it could make for good drama.
The Negative:
While Adam felt like a real person, he didn't feel like a boy. I would suggest going over his thoughts and words and add a little more masculinity. Him checking out her curves might not be enough on its own.
Good job overall!
Jocelyn P
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jprofit
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 8:38pm on Mar 16, 2026 via server WEBX1.