Jim's (jim-d) Reviews

Review Requests: ON

3,542 Public Reviews Given

3,590 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.

I'm good at...

I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).

Favorite Genres

Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense

Least Favorite Genres

Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.

Favorite Item Types

Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.

Least Favorite Item Types

I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.

I will not review...

I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.

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#4860281

Review of Read the Instructions!

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey Winnie Kay

,

Like my good friend JACE

, I'm reviewing by genre right now. I'm not as faithful as he is though, I often take breaks from this activity. Today's genre is Educational and I stumbled across this, so I thought I'd drop by and sit a while.

This is excellent advice for almost anyone. It's advice I received over 50 years ago while attending Naval Nuclear Power School. Tjhe instructions were almost identical to the ones you list here. I am sure that 90% of students who see something like this will Not Read The Instructions. It's just the human way. Give a test with these instructions to a 1st grader, they will most likely follow them. They haven't yet learned yo feel they know it all.

A very good article, thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4860182

Review of First meeting.

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey Sumojo

I found your story on Read & Review and thought I'd drop by for a spell.

I found your story to be pretty original. The idea of a couple meeting for the first time, the story itself told from each person's POV. Well done!

I loved the contrast between the two points of view. He felt everything went well, whereas she found it to not be her type at all. It seemed he did all the talking, felt them meeting was a huge success. That last thought reminded me of many people I know, some are close friends!'

Meanwhile she felt his grip was like holding a wet fish! I loved it when her friend Mary called, giving her an excuse to leave. Some people do not read another person's body language, or the subtle clues their responses may evoke. Gee, I can be dense at times, but i sure as hell hope I'm not this bad!

A truly entertaining story. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4859950

Review of Navy Jet Accident Kills Two

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey TeeGateM

,

Wow, an incredible story. I'm so thankful it's fictional, even if based on a true story. Thank you for letting a reader know that small detail.

But how am I supposed to write a review when my eyes insist on filling with water? Since I'm retired Navy, stories like this can hit hard. I always tell everyone I had the safe job. Submarine Duty? Safe, as safe as can be really. Army or Marines, Pilots? Those are not safe jobs if you ask me

You never mentioned the second widow until the Memorial service.I assume your character visited her also. I assume her reaction was identical to the first widow. I wasn't surprised the widow wouldn't eat. How could she? I bet her stomach was in knots, with her mind full of thoughts that wouldn't slow down.,

As I first said, an incredible story. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4859636

Review of Question of the Day!

Review by Jim

Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)

It's alright S🤦‍♂️

, sometimes life does that.

What is something you've read on WdC that has really impressed you by another member?

There are at least two stories that I've read several times. The first one is by Jack Goldman

, titled "Crooked Creek" . He's locked the story so it's private, you'll have to request access. Believe me, it's worth asking for access. Another one is "Unicorns and Redemption" . Wow oh Wow on both stories. Then you have my favorite poem on wDC. "Speak soft my name" Read it, then look at the words on your screen. It might help if you can turn your monitor on it's side. I'll just say that all three are phenomenal!

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#4859634

Review of I am Kay

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Hey iKïyå§ama

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop by for a visit.

Wow! What a compelling story! I Loved it.

Yes, she and here son were with him far too long. A person's skin color does not matter (at least to me) one bit. Early on, maybe in the 7th grade, I learned why some people have darker skin. When I learned that, I stopped caring what color they were. I cared far more about how they treated me, and other people of the world.

You've written a very powerful short story here. To write something like this with just one syllable words though.... Outstanding. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4859500

Review of Project Afterlife Pt.1

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (2.0)

Hey TheJessenovels

I'm reviewing by Genre's today, I chose Detective, this popped up, so here I am.

I realize this is Part 1 of what seems to be a much larger story. A quick look at your port didn't reveal other stories that would follow this. Since you wrote this about 5 years ago and modified it last month, I am forced to look at this as a standalone piece.

Your brief intro tells me that Montag is a defeated College Professor who isn't what he seems to be. That's a mystery you don't go into in this Pt 1. In your last two paragraphs, Montag has been kidnapped (so to speak), the intruder threatens his family. That's where it ends.

This needs a lot of work. Your beginning is decent, I find myself wondering about the woman in the bar, and her bearing on the rest of the story. There's a bit of mystery here when you write, He knew his talent was meant for more, but past transgressions brought him here. What transgressions? You open many doors here with statements like these, but you never explain what you mean. Don't get me wrong, I like your story. It just has too many holes in it for me to rate it higher, If you decide to edit this and fill those holes in, I'd love to return and re-review/re-rate this.

I do have a few specific comments about the story.

1. Feeling so out of place in this room full of strange bedfellows. this line should start with He, and continue with one minor edit. He felt so out of place in this room full of strange bedfellows.

2. “Homeland, you Russian, cause you don’t sound like it?” This line needs a very minor edit. “Homeland. You Russian? Cause you don’t sound like it.”

3. “I can do much worst to you.” Or the ones you love will suffer a pain worst than death.” In both of these lines, worst should be worse. Worst is past tense, worse is present tense.

You have a nice start to this story. Now finish it! Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4859331

Review of A pre-1990's Movie List for Gamers

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey mithrandir

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell. This time, I'm really glad I did!

Oh Lord, do you have a life? (That's nort a put-down either). I've seen several thousand movies I know, I'm not sure I could write their names down as well as you have though.

I was glad to see that you listed A Boy & His Dog. Yeah, an early Don Johnson film. I think that at the end, when Don Johnson (Blood) said, Well, I'd certainly say she had marvelous judgment, Albert... if not particularly good taste. If I remember correctly (it's been almost 50 years since I first saw this), he was talking about how she tasted. He and Blood had eaten her!

I love your list, I've seen more on your list than most people I'd bet. That's because of all that time on Submarines, after dinner movies you could say. We weren't known for having good movies on board. Just a lot of movies. I've seen a lot, I do mean A LOT of movies on your Wasteland list, a bit more than half. The ones I haven't seen on your Real World / Fantasy World list are: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (I've tried watching it. I couldn't connect with it, or the humor in it), Mazes and Monsters, & The Company of Wolves.

Really, a VERY Impressive of movies you've seen. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4859226

Review of Straightening my African roots

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey Adelaide

,

I found this on the Read & Review page and thought I'd drop in for a visit.

First, let me say I Love This! I have long wondered (and known) why women feel they need to look a certain way. The beauty industry has done an excellent job convincing the general public that women need this product or that product. You hit the nail on the head when you wrote
Women are under social pressure to be beautiful and pretty for display.

I don't feel it's only hair the beauty industry is concerned with. What about fitness, or 'shape', or even the clothes you wear. If you don't have a certain figure, or don't wear the right clothes.... Well shame on you! I say shame on the beauty industry.

There are many other ways both men and women are influenced to do things, that's not what your article is about though. Meanwhile, the average person lives their lives completely aware that they don't meet the 'standards' set by society in general.

Despite loving this, I have one comment for you.

1. These two paragraphs are not double spaced like the others. Shaving the hair of women was, and still is used as punishment for defiance or sin. The choice to be (almost) bald projects an image of resistance.
The truth is, the beauty industry can not profit off baldness, so they portray long hair as desirable and sexy, and sell self confidence in a shampoo bottle. Hair care companies have been profiting off black women for years as part of a colonial project of assimilation and preying upon black women’s need to find acceptance. We have been sold beauty in the image of white women.

An excellent article about women in general, but especially about Women of Color. I really wish women (and society) would revolt against things like this. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4859167

Review of The Journey of Terror

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Hey April Desiree

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a visit.

This reads a little like (actually a lot like) an unfinished piece of work. Your beginning is your main character's name being growled out. The story seems to revolve around their march to the Emperor's Palace.

Aftger arriving there, they were greeted by the Vice Chancellor and shown to their living quarters, small huts that looked very unstable. They were not provided anything to allow them to be a little comfortable. The story ends when a young girl dies.

What this story needs, is a nice plot. A nice, tight plot. It needs dialog, surely the women slaves talked to each other, despite their dialect differences. I'll just say that your story needs A LOT of work. I do mean A LOT.

Should you decide to edit this, I would love to return to this and review it again. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4859142

Review of Please Come Back

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey Wi11

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

This is an interesting dissertation of young love you've written. You pour your love out to this person who left you. You are heartbroken, rightly so. I'll write an old adage here, it may not help you now, it may help you in the future. Time heals all wounds. I told you it might not help now, maybe in the future.

This is well written, except for you saying you love this person over and over. You've heard it before, you'll hear it again I'm sure. You'll find another.

You're in high school? Gosh, I remember those days, 54 years ago. Yep, I'm that old. There was a girl in school, I thought we were perfect together, she didn't think like I did. Don't get me wrong, we're still best friends. She's married to someone else now, and so am I. I'm happy, she seems to be happy also. Life does go on, that's one thing you should know.

I really enjoyed your story, I only want to reassure you that you'll be fine. If not now, sometime in the future. Quoting a movie, "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." So yes, everything will be okay, Thank you for sharing this!

Jim

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#4858855

Review of Alone

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Hey 🖤Kadie🖤

,

I am reviewing by genre today, Death was the chosen genre, and found this. I thought it would be good to drop by for a spell.

You have a good start to a story here. Notice I said start to a story. You left me with several questions, here are a couple of them..

1. You wrote Vyl stared at the red mark in his palm, remembering the oath he had made to those who had died. Alright, who is this man? Vyl has a goal, killing this unknown man. Tell us about him then. Describe him, make a reader feel that yes, this man deserves to die. What kind of mark is that red mark? Is it a scar or something like a tattoo? Maybe he was branded. This is your story, you know everything about it. If you're like me and don't know right now, give it time, you'll see where the story is meant to go.

2. You also wrote He had sworn to kill the man who had committed the crime. But that would be impossible, for he did not know who had done it. I realize that right now Vyl has no clue who the man is. That's the beauty of writing something! You control the plot and where the story will take a reader. That's why I said this is the start of a good story. You left me hanging with this statement.

3. Finally, he blew out his torch, and the world quietened once again. I'm not sure here, but with quietened being the past participle of quieten, maybe quietened is not the best choice here. Perhaps quieted would work better, I don't know. Quietened just jumped out as me when I read it.

A fairly good story that needs to be lengthened to complete the story line. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4858721

Review of Old Attitude v/s New

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey sindbad

,
I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

You have a good story here, I find myself left with one thought. How hard would it have been for Arjun to move to the vacant seat and allow the senior citizen to sit where he wanted to sit? At the same time, I wonder why the older man didn't want to sit in that seat. I think both of them could have alleviated things by doing that. It seems that both were very stubborn, each convinced they were right.

I like the way this is written. You didn't stray off topic, you kept me (and future readers) involved by staying on point. The older gentleman threatening Arjun was a bit preposterous, there was no reason for him to be upset. If both young men had remained seated, it would be different. The gentleman would have good cause to be upset. As it was, the only issue seemed to be that both were being stubborn.

It's a nice story about every day life in India. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4858548

Review of Navigating Self Comparison W Your Past.

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Hey Steph

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

You've written an interesting essay here. You compare your current self to your past self constantly. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but as someone who is well past their prime, I have to say that you can't live in your past. You already knew that though.

I see you joined Writing.com (WDC) yesterday 3/1/26. We were all new at one time, but the greatest thing about this site is that we act like we're one, big, family. You're going to receive reviews of things you post here, like mine now. Not all will be outstanding reviews. In my case, I hope my review helps you become a better writer, and receiving great reviews everytime. The StoryMaster owns the website and works hard to update and improve it daily. I think he's done a terrific job updating things.

While it is great that you shared your thoughts here, this does need a bit of work.

1. Use a larger font! Wow, the font here is pretty small. Some WDC members, myself included, are Senior Citizens. A larger font would make this easier to read. While I had no problem reading it, a larger font would have been nice. Here's an example from your essay, and the same passage in larger font. Knowing once you we're someone so amazing, so catastrophically achieving it makes you feel good about yourself. Knowing once you we're someone so amazing, so catastrophically achieving it makes you feel good about yourself. The enlarged font is 14 Pt, which I typically use for about all I write on WDC, and is used in the rest of this review.

2. The formatting of this is a little off. The title line is not centered correctly, it looks like it was 'indented' a couple of times instead of being centered. A personal preference of mine would be to have a space between the title line and the body of the document.

3. Though I like your use of Nostalgia and Limerence, I wonder if those are the words you meant to use. After all, Limerence: a state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship, then Nostalgia: a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. I realize you can have both at once when thinking of your past, the words just seem off to me is all.

4. You used the word we're twice in this essay. As written, we're is a conjunction, two words combined. We're means we are. I think you meant to write were.

Still, this is an interesting essay, it just needs a little formatting, and looked at carefully with a Spell Checker/Thesaurus. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4858376

Review of The Candle

Review by Jim

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey Jacky

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

This didn't go quite where I expected it to, but your choice was better than mine. I thought Jan lighting the candle would somehow catch the house on fire.

This could be a much longer story though. I realize it was written for a contest, but should you decide to edit it, you may want to lengthen it some. As currently written, the ending drops a reader a bit, causing them to wonder what will happen next.

The twist at the end was excellent, with one minor error noted.

1. Jan stood up, and blue out the candle. Blue should be blew.

An interesting short story, thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4858119

Review of The Charity Kitchen

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey Moarzjasac

I am reviewing by Genre today and this popped up on my feed! Imagine that, I just had to drop in and review something you've written.

Your poem tells quite the story here. A charity kitchen, huh? Your describe this scene well, the men slowly revealed from darkness as the sunrises. I loved your description of the coffee, oatmeal, grits, sausage patties & eggs. I could almost smell breakfast in the air!

In reading it a second time, still vainly looking for a minor recommendation, I have none. A wonderful poem, thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4857654

Review of Day Dream

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey Borb

I found this on the Read & Review page and thought I'd stop by for a visit.

This is a cute story you've written. Should you decide to edit this, I would change one thing about it. Your chosen Genre lists Other. That means that unless someone is searching specifically for the 'Other' genre, it won't be seen. Unless someone like me looks at the Read & Review page. I recommend that you change the Genre to Comedy, a second Genre of Satire (I thought the story was very good, written in a satirical way), and maybe Nonsense. That's a big Maybe.

Your story is filled with a lot of 'Telling', a phrase you may have heard. Should you choose to edit this, you might want to find a way to add some 'Showing' to it. The thing is, I'm not certain it's necessary. A nice story, thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4857387

Review of Café Latitudes

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey WriterRick

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

You have an excellent story started here. I say Started because I don't see an end to it. Right now, the last line is Amelia couldn't help but feel that this chance encounter. By chance, did you not copy all it when you created this story? It looks that way to me.

I love the Puget Sound area, but lived across the sound in Bremerton. The people of Seattle sure love their coffee though!

I see this is chapter one, most likely part of a much larger work. Still, it would be nice to see this in its full content.

A nice story, thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4857244

Review of The Star

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey Jacky

,

I found this on Read & review and thought I'd drop by for a spell.

This is a nice story you've written. If the contest is over, it could stand a bit of editing. Only once the contest is over. Why do I say it needs a bit of editing? Please allow me to explain.

The story itself is good, but a bit shallow plot-wise. Why? Anna saw what seemed to be a star on the horizon. Since this is Flash Fiction, you didn't, or couldn't spare the words to provide a better description of it. If the contest is over, this is your chance! Your segue from Anna seeing the 'star' to being in an Ambulance is rather abrupt. It couldn't have been a star, something like that would destroy the Earth. So explain what is was, while also telling (& Showing) a reader how Anna came to be in the Ambulance. There's just so much more you could do with this story is all. A second thought is, was that a star at all, or was Anna's mind seeing something prior to her having a seizure? Either approach would really strengthen your story.

A nice story that needs a bit of editing TLC. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4857127

Review of Metaphorical Stew

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Hey JACE

,

I've been copying you off and on, reviewing by genre and came across this. Holy Smokes Batman, this was funny!

I know I've seen some of these in the past, but never thought to piece them together as you have. One of the reasons I remember some of these lines is this one. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

This is really well composed. I know it's harder than one might think to take disparate answers provided by others, and generate a coherent story from it. Well done!

A well put together story that many should read, if looking to lighten their day some. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4857016

Review of Into the Library of Shadows

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey Lonewolf

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

You had to do it, didn't you?

You had build me up with your excellent descriptions of Jeremy and his Ghostbuster gear. Then, then, then.... You dropped me like a hot rock with the line, Jeremy took a deep breath, stepped into the building, and smiled. Time to prove he belonged. That's it? That's the end of your story?

I know you had a word count limit and all. After all, it's the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge. I would love some closure to this is all. Should you decide to edit this, I'd love to see a 'proper ending'. Well done with this! I hope you read the humor in my review, I loved the story. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4856842

Review of Static I Called Love

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey R.

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd stop by for a spell.

First, my grade. It's based on your story, and the fact that it's all Tell, there's no show in it.

Secondly, I love this story! I think we lived similar lives as youngsters. Maybe years apart (I'm 71), but still, very similar. Except there's one big difference. My HS sweetheart has always been my best friend. I loved her, but in retrospect, I'm glad we never married, or became serious.

Now, about this Show n Tell bit. When you tell a story, it's just that, you tell it. Despite all your words in this story, it didn't pull me in emotionally. That's what showing does. So how can you pull a reader in emotionally? Descriptions, dialog. Your descriptions were pretty good, but you had no dialog in it. I glanced at the other items in your port and did not see any dialog in those either. Again, I glanced. It can be hard to write dialog, especially when going on memory. What's a person to do? The obvious answer is not use it (meaning you most likely end up telling the story), or make it up! I don't mean to lie, but surely you remember something he might have said, or have an idea of what he said. Go with it!

This is an excellent place where you could have used dialog. I once lived a relationship so toxic that when I ended it and heard someone who claimed to love me say he would end his life if I did not take him back, I thought I had made the biggest mistake. I am young, already an adult, but still young, and I do not know many things. The only thing I know is that nothing I ever had compared to what I felt for a certain man once. A small edit may be needed, perhaps something like this. I was once in a relationship that was very toxic. When I ended it, he said, "IF I can't have you, there's no reason to keep on living, is there?" I thought I had made the biggest mistake in ending things. After all, I was young, an adult yes, but still young, and I did not know many things. My reply to him was, "Don't end your life over me. You still have so much to live for!"

There are other places I'm sure, this one just jumped out at me. This is a nice essay, thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4856566

Review of She who serves

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey Kåre เลียม Enga

I was browsing by genre this morning and came across this, so I thought I'd drop in for a spell.

As I've come to expect from you, this is well written with no obvious errors. The thing is, there's always someone like Lisa, huh. Someone who seems to fix things no matter what it is. IT sounds like Lisa was depended on to correct every small thing that came along, no matter what. As I read this, I had the impression that this was a Senior Assisted Living Home. Lisa was an employee who could either fix things, or knew who to contact. Like the commercials on TV. Grainger - For The Ones Who Get It Done.

A very good poem about one that is depended upon by others. Thank you for sharing!

Jim

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#4856306

Review of The Spot

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Hey Jacky

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop by for a spell.

Your story is pretty cute. I had Miles pegged as a cat early on, it's nice to know I was right.

I liked how you described Miles and his love of sleeping in 'the spot'. I know I like nice warm spot like that, and I'm not a cat! Your descriptions of how Miles determined why the spot wasn't there some days was very good. And of course, Miles thinking the spot had gotten lost at times was very good also. I have to wonder what he would do if it was cloudy for weeks, not just a day or two,

If you decide to edit this, you might want to add a third genre of Children's to this. I enjoyed your short story, thank you for sharing!

Sum1

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#4856132

Review of Russell Station Road

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey SeanBlonde

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

When it comes to poetry, I feel that what you type or write is far more important than following a set format or theme. Your poem does this well for me.

I could feel your mind coming to ease, resting, resetting itself as you drove to Russell Station Road. (Is that a real place? Just curious here.)

On a side note, I always try to learn a bit about the author. We might have a bit of a common background. You're a retired nuclear reactor operations training instructor and professor of Nuclear Engineering Technology. I retired from the Navy (Submarine Force) in 1993. I was a 'Nuke' (Electrician's Mate), but was never interested in the Civilian field for some reason.

You wrote this well, those first two verses really set up the poem. Well done there. A nice free-verse poem about rediscovering oneself. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

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#4855741

Review of The Big Octopus and the Navy Seal

Review by Jim

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Hey Tim Chiu

,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

Your poem seems to have an almost sing-song lilt to it, something I love. An Octopus named Smalley huh. Hunted by a man named Small. Nice touch.

Because of my background, and the way I am, I was hoping the two of them would somehow become one, in agreement at least. You know, Small agrees not to kill Smalley as long as he agrees not to sink ships anymore.

I found myself wondering why Smalley was attacking ships, and asked myself, "What if his mother had been killed or captured by a ship, and he was only trying to find her?" Just my sense of humor at work there.

A nice poem about an Octopus and how it is captured by a Navy Seal. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

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