Review Requests: ON
842 Public Reviews Given
847 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to always pick out the positive points in a piece, even if overall I am not enamoured by it. I tend to point out grammatical and spelling errors. I will be honest, but not unkind *Smile*
I'm good at...
Empathising with people, giving my opinion, analysing poetry.
Favorite Genres
Travel, Sci - fi, psychology, opinion, music, horror, gothic food, emotional, death/dark, animal.
Least Favorite Genres
Western/war, Parenting, History, Erotica/Adult
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Flash Fiction, Photos, Articles.
Least Favorite Item Types
Campfire creatives, interactive stories.
I will not review...
Novels.
Public Reviews
<   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  ...   >
1
1
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Annette Author Icon

I saw you highlight this on the Newsfeed and I was intrigued so I thought I would read it. I actually love your very candid take on reviewing here. I almost feel that it's a bit of a "taboo" topic - the fact that most of us on WDC do not really use the "5 star" system the same as we would on other websites - such as a restaurant or service, a movie, or even when rating things we have read or listened to via Amazon. I think many of us would be inclined to be more critical when rating a professional whom we will likely never have any kind of personal contact with. But on WDC, we feel as though people are our friends, or could be - and like you say - like oneself they are putting their writing out there - our letter based babies.

I have seen people make references over the years here to giving "honest" reviews and there is so much focus on this (I have seen people in the past posting about trying to get their rating average down!) - but really, do I want to know if member x or y didn't understand WTF my poem was about and gave it 2 or 3 stars? Not really. No-one does! We want to know if someone liked something, not if someone didn't like it. Of course if there is some constructive criticism like pointing out a typo, or a rhyme that didn't work very well then fair enough.

I think like you I have only ever given one star for "Spam" poetry where bad is good and good is bad (and have been the recipient of this)
*Laugh* My rating system tends to go -

5 stars - I really liked it, I thought it was great, it made me laugh or think/feel something, I connected with it, or I thought it was inspirational. I didn't really find any issues, typos or errors in it.

4.5 - I really liked it, but I didn't necessarily have the emotional response as per the above. I didn't really find any issues, typos or errors in it.

4 stars - I liked it rather than
really liked it, or I did like it but it had some issues, typos or errors.

3.5 stars - For me, It wasn't the best or it had lots of issues, typos or errors.

I don't really give less than 3.5 and tbh I rarely give that.

I am more likely give a lower/more honest rating if someone has SPECIFICALLY asked for feedback on it, rather than me just happening upon it.

I really respect your system though and goes with my theory that people should just be nicer to each other!!

A review signature from the Bee Hive






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Solar rider  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Anastasia Browne Author Icon

I saw your poem listed on the "Please Review" page

I liked the imagery and description in your poem. I could picture the rider in this parched desert land, pressing on against all adversity. As the reader I can feel both his despair and determination to press on and succeed against all odds.

We do not learn much about this character - why is he riding? where is he going? Is he running away? Perhaps it is a She and not a He! There is a lot left to the readers imagination.

I thought that the poem mostly flows well and rhymes well with an AA BB rhyming scheme. However in this line I feel it reads as though it has too many syllables -
I rode a thousand kilometres into the white-hot light.

Overall I thought this was a well written poem *Smile*

A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Brandiwyn🎶 Author Icon

I saw your poem on the Newsfeed.

You have said it is one of the worst things you have written - but why?
*Laugh* I actually quite liked it, I thought it was a funny take on the "Cat in the Hat" stories. Like any child of the 80's I loved Dr Seuss and of course remember that cat in the hat.

I think your poem has that crazy and slightly nonsensical quality which goes along with the Seuss dynasty, it rhymes well and it has that important little message about being kind (to your Dad's unloved musical talent
*Laugh*) Who would have thought this crazy cat had a crazy brother!?

I especially love the bit at the end about paying all your bills!
*Laugh*

*Cat* *Tophat*

A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of karma  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Rhyssa Author Icon

I came across your poem via the "Read and Review" feature.

I think this poem leaves us with an important lesson and is something to think about. The line -

"what peace can be found
when fire is returned with more fire
or loud words with shouting?"

Seems especially meaningful today with everything going on in the World. And don't we all want peace?

The free form of your poem works here, although I would probably have split the first line in to two, in order to align with the other shorter, punchier lines. I am not sure why this line is bolded, perhaps it was a prompt line. Whilst the subject here may not be an original one, I think you have done the concept justice, I like the example of the driver you have given, with a suggestion of being more understanding to those people who irritate us in every life over the small things.

A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello The Uplifting Essayist Author Icon

I saw your item advertised on the Newsfeed. The title reference to "Washing Bats" intrigued me as I thought this must be a species of bat - like a fruit bat - and an animal story! I had no idea that "washing bats" are something to help out with the laundry process although I guess they were in the past and so maybe in some parts of the World they still are.

I thought this was a cute children's story and the content was well written, I could picture the characters and the scene well. I liked the names you have chosen for the characters. You have captured ideas which would interest children such as sibling rivalry, eating sweets and imaginative play.

I thought that the ending was cut slightly short , and would have liked to know what happened between the characters afterward - did they all make friends and laugh about it? Did one of them stomp crossly off home? Was the battle set for another date? As a child I think I would have liked to know these things!

However I appreciate you may have wanted to leave this to the imagination
*Smile*

A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello NormaJean AKA Writing Queen Author Icon

I found your story via the "Read and Review" tab.

I thought this was a cute children's short story about Groundhog Day, but told from the side of the Groundhogs. Of course we have all seen the movie and know that this is a traditional celebration in America but do we think about how the Groundhogs feel about it?!

I like the way you have personified this little Groundhog family and how they interpret the celebration as humans celebrating their shadows.

I also did not know that a Woodchuck was the same thing as a Groundhog so I have learned something there! Perhaps because we don't get them in the UK. It would be cool to see a real one.

A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Even Keel  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Don Two Author Icon

I have come across your item via the "Read and Review" feature

Obviously I recognized the words of the famous Beatles song at the start of your poem. I actually really love that song. I have even sang it at karaoke. Anyway, I did really like both the content of your poem and the unusual layout. I am not sure if that is a particular form or whether you just did it like that.

I like the way you are using a metaphor of the boat, for life, it is a good lesson to teach - although as we know, sometimes it is very difficult to be that way and to be so calm in the face of adversity.

I especially enjoyed your mention of the Turtles on the moss covered rocks because I absolutely love Turtles
*Heartg* *Turtle1*

A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful story!

I love your writing style here and your description of both the City and Arif's feelings.

Straight away I liked the fact that the story is set in Dhaka, which is unusual here on WDC where most stories are set in the West. Never been to Bangladesh (it's on my list!)

I thought the story flowed very well and it was easy and pleasurable to read. I liked the description of Arif's journey home where he describes the sights and sounds.

I suppose if there is a negative, is that it is a bit of a cliche - and maybe a bit unrealistic! But then, it is a story so I didn't want to mark you down for that because it still made me smile at the end *Smile* I am not suprised you won! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of 26 Paychecks  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Annette Author Icon

I am reviewing this activity as part of the first challenge of the activity! *Delight*

I think this is a great idea for an activity hence I have joined in. I like the fact that you have 2 weeks to complete an activity as this gives ample time for those of us leading a busy life in the real World. I like the idea of completing different challenges rather than doing the same thing - eg. writing reviews or writing a poem every week. Variety is the spice of life. I think the idea of the "Paychecks" is imaginative and the rewards sound generous! *Smile*

Answering the questions -

What would be your favorite paychecks (prizes)?

Merit Badges or Awardicons

What would be your favorite tasks?


Writing Flash Fiction Stories, Posting on the Newsfeed, Sending Merit Badges/tickets, posting in forums. writing a blog post or commenting on blogs.

Why are you giving the star rating that you are assigning?


I have given this item top marks for the points I have made above, it seems like a great idea and at this point I have nothing negative to say since it has only just started *Laugh*
10
10
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This Wordsearch was a bit of a challenge! I found a couple of words straight away but then it took a while to find any more, it got a bit easier the more words I found. However this did bring a certain sense of achievement once I had found them all *Laugh*. And perhaps too easy is boring?? Ironically the last word I found was "Spookifish" which I am fairly sure was my Halloween Handle last year *Laugh*.

The clues are a good mix of general Halloween related words and WDC Halloween Handles, and the bats cartoon is fitting.

Suggestion *Questiono* You could call it Searching for Samhain instead for the alliteration factor!

A review signature from the Bee Hive
11
11
Review of Weighed Down  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Smartie Author Icon

I came across your poem as you sent me a review request.

I can pick up the strong emotions in your poem , and a sense of desperation - the writer is stuck, captured in a situation they feel they are unable to escape from. The words of your poem convey that the writer is afraid of someone or something - the end of the poem indicates the write is scared of themself - they do not know what their actions will be if things carry on in this way. A "prison guard" is mentioned however I feel this is a metaphor, that the person is not in prison but this refers to someone controlling in their life like a family member, teacher, or partner.

In terms of punctuation, I see you have chosen not to use any here. In a free form poem, I don't believe there is a specific requirement for punctuation, however I feel that some may be beneficial here, in order that the lines do not all run in to one another. However I also wonder whether the punctuation has been omitted on purpose, in order to enhance the sense or desperation and urgency.

I think your poem is accessible as many of us have felt this way for one reason or another - feeling stuck, helpless, on edge, under pressure. Therefore I feel many people could draw their own relation to these words. However, I am not sure the poem reveals any ideas or images which are particularly original or outstanding, but your content did resonate with me, and overall I liked the poem *Smile*

A review signature from the Bee Hive




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello StephBee Author Icon

I saw your Newsfeed post advertising your quiz challenge so I thought I would take a look. I decided to just answer the questions by (primarily) guessing rather than Googling the answers. I think there a is good mix of questions, although it is not a topic I know anything about. That is interesting that the US Air Force is 78 years old which means it started after the second World War, I would have thought it started before that.

It would have been interesting to see what the correct answers were but when I submitted the quiz and tried to find out, it just gave me my answers again, I am not sure why?

I can see this quiz would have an appeal to people with connections to the Airforce in America, they would probably find the questions easy!


13
13
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Okay so I had to pick - Clubs and bars, over the noise who else would hear?

But -

I love karaoke - so I will sing in clubs and bars when I know people CAN hear *Pthb*

But -

I won't (and can't actually) sing just anything - I have specific songs that I sing on Karaoke - some of my favourites are -

Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
Amy Winehouse - You know I'm no Good
The Eagles - Hotel California
James Blunt - Wisemen
Bryan Adams - Everything I do (I do it for you)
Queen - Too Much Love Will Kill You

These are not necessarily indicative of my favourite music, but these are the songs i like and can (to a degree) sing

Do you sing Karaoke?

Great poll question *Smile* *Heart*
14
14
Review of In Amelo  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Starmic Suebear Author Icon

I found your item to read on the Plug Page.

The fact that this was a fantasy poem about an imaginary continent intrigued me - although there are many fantasy novels and stories, I don't feel one often comes across poems about a fantasy land. I like the idea.

I like the start of the poem which opens with the vibe of telling a tale and the "Amelo" rhyming with "Tokyo", and where we meet our principal character. The poem goes on to tell us a bit about this place - some of it sounds like places familiar on Earth - or at least how they were in the past with plantations and slaves, however the poem also tells us there are other beings on this continent who are not human which ties in with the fantasy theme.

I like the descriptions in your poem and it makes me interested to know more about this fantasy land, although the rhyming schemes seemed a bit confused - as each verse seems to follow a different one. Perhaps this was intended, but it doesn't quite seem to be free form either, because the rhyming patterns are distinctly there.

The last line confused me a bit - "As he'd lived so would he be" - perhaps I am missing something here ? It reminds me of the phrase - to live and die by your sword, so perhaps it is along these lines.

I found this an interesting poem to read.

I hope you are enjoying being a part of WDC, and wish you a Happy WDC Birthday week *Smile*

A review signature from the Bee Hive




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Commuting  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello sa_xe Author Icon

I found your item on The Plug Page.

I like your writing style in this piece, it is very poetic. I can picture the scene of the person waking up and going through their morning routine. I like the short, sharp sentences, i think it gives it a cinematic quality.

The commute is something many of us can relate to - a lot of us do this, or have done at some point in our lives. I have done everything from an hour + commute on a bus and ferry, to no commute working from home! (The latter naturally preferred *Smirk*)

My favourite lines?

Then slowly, one by one, people came from the mist to wait on the platform and make little clouds of their own.

Life is like a big blank page of meaninglessness, punctuated by small moments of meaning.


SO TRUE

Suggestions - In terms of the layout, I am not sure why you have left the double spacing?

I hope you are enjoying being a member of Writing.com and happy WDC birthday week *Smile*

A review signature from the Bee Hive



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Happy Birthday !  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Just an Ordinary Boo! Author Icon

I am reviewing your poem as part of "Writing.Com in Wonderland for WDC's birthday week celebrations.

I felt that your poem had such a warm and friendly sentiment, it is a feel good poem.

For someone's birthday, of course, we want to bring something joyful, pleasing , and celebratory and I think that you achieve that here.

I like the way that the different animals bring their corresponding positive qualities for the person in question's birthday - the wisdom of the elephant, the patience of the tortoise, the charm of the canary and so on.

The poem presents a pleasing image of this animal parade.

I thought the rhyme and flow of the poem works very well, and the repetition of the lines.

I am not sure what the reference to the "garden" girl is - perhaps this is a pet name from the writer to the person.

Happy WDC Birthday week *Smile*

A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great quiz! I love this film and have seen it loads of times, although only managed to get 50% of the questions right *Laugh* *Facepalm*. I think it is good that you have not made it too easy though because a lot of people think they know this movie so well. The no kissing question got me though because I thought her rule was just No Kissing at all (with clients!) But maybe I am wrong on that one?! Love the Pretty Woman Soundtrack too. I wonder if my Mum would get all these because she really loves this film.
18
18
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Dear Choconut Author Icon

I would like to express how much I have appreciated and enjoyed this activity. It was fabulously thought out and so much time and detail has gone in to it from your side.

Everything from the varied prompts, the layout and graphics on the main activity page, the weekly e-mails sent to participants, the generous prizes, and the overall imaginative concept has been perfect for a WDC contest.

I have never been a HUGE Beatles fan (I like them mainly from my childhood, and know many songs but they're probably not a band I listen to a lot) but this activity has got me listening to some Beatles Songs in real life and realising how many there are I actually like.

I love the fact that there have been a variety of ways to take part and still earn a prize - even if you just entered for 1 week.

For my part, I don't think I have written 4 poems in a month for a L O N G time, so thank you for giving me the motivation and the inspiration! *Heartv* *Heartp* *Music2*

A review signature from the Bee Hive
19
19
Review of No Turkey  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear THANKFUL SONALI On Hiatus Author Icon

I found your poem on the "Read and Review" tab

I have to say that as a vegan I 100% agree with your sentiment and the meaning behind this poem! There are not enough poems written in support of animals not being treated as a comodity.

I like your points about the human body being designed to eat plant based products which I think people often forget.

Whilst I am a vegan for moral reasons predominantly, you make a good point about the link between eating meat and climate change which is very topical.

I would probably rethink the line "Turkeys are people too" as this is obviously factually incorrect and people (meaters) might pick you up on that. I might says "Turkeys have rights too", or "Turkeys are living beings too" - something like that. They certainly do have family and friends though *Smile* *Turkey*

I love that we are likeminded on this matter! *Heart*


A review signature from the Bee Hive


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of Medic for the cat  
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello losing cat Author Icon

I found your item on "Read and Review", and here are my thoughts on your poem

*StarP*The title of the poem

Made me think this was about a cat, possibly an unwell cat, however, having read the poem I do not think it is about a cat so perhaps that is a metaphor?? Although I am not quite clear on that..

*StarP*To me, the poem is about

A relationship which has ended, however the writer still wishes to be romantically involved with the person they are talking to in the poem.

*StarP*What I liked about the poem was

The emotion of the writer which comes through - there is a sense of desire and desperation. I liked the analogy of the other person's eyes being like a cinema.

*StarP*Rhyme and Rhythm

The poem is a freeform , I think this works fine here.

*StarP*Things I would suggest/was unsure of

You have said "Is there still A room" "Is there still A space" - Personally I don't think you need the "A" in these lines

In the first verse you repeat the words "rest " and "mind" - it may be beneficial to branch out with different wording here?

I am not really sure what you mean by a gardening lever? I Googled this but could not find anything *Confused*

"I promise i will make you bloom, like the way you blow a dandelion" - I see what you are getting at here, but this is really a contradiction, because blowing a dandelion isn't referring to something blooming, it is something dispersing, or dying, a line such as "like a dandelion bursting from its bud" or something like that may make for a better simile.

*StarP*Overall -

I think you have some good ideas in your poem and I like some of your imagery, although in certain places it is not quite clear or can be repetitive. I thought the Cinema analogy was good.


Signature won in an auction :)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Joey Says...Where's Winter? Author Icon

I noticed your post on the Newsfeed of this item and I did not know what an "Autopen" was so I read your article, I do now feel enlightened as to what an Autopen is, I can see the use for this if one has to sign many documents as this would be very time consuming. I thought your article was well written, it read like a magazine article. It probably gave more information about Autopen's than I would realistically digest but then you can pick out the information needed. I suppose in an ideal article, it would warrant some images/diagrams however I know that is not so easy on WDC. I am curious as to what inspired you to write an article about such a specific and random subject!! *Laugh*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Winner  
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Winchester Jones Author Icon

I found this story via the "Read and Review" tab

*BalloonB**Books2**BalloonB**Books3**BalloonB*


What the title says to me

I like titles that are short and sweet like this one - the Word "Winner" indicates that the story is about success, gaining something, getting a prize. Although really it could mean anything! I think it works as the story is not predictable in relation to the title.

The opening paragraph

Caught my attention because as the reader I am intrigued to know about this little girl and this man, who are they, where are they, what are they doing there. It is a good opening as it encouraged me to read on. Often if an opening paragraph does not grab me I will just not continue reading...

How I felt about the characters

As it is a flash fiction story we do not get to learn a great deal of the 2 characters portrayed, however I think there is enough that the reader cares enough to want to know what happens to them. I like the interaction between the characters.

The plot

I quickly understood that the setting was a prison and that the two characters must have been related, I think with such a short story it still does pack a plot with a beginning/middle/end, the thing is that we don't find out why the man is in prison? I suppose that doesn't matter as when he says "Never" we know he is in for life and so must have done something terrible.

What I liked best

I liked the description of the Child's hair described by the older man. I liked the ending, I thought it was poignant *Smile*

Suggestions

I am not sure why the man is referred to as "Crenshaw, Lester T " throughout the story - I can see why he may have been introduced as this but then I would have just referred to him as "Crenshaw", or "Lester". It seems odd to use his full name every time.

"she wanted nothing more than to throw the phone at the face in the window and run from the room, and to not throw-up."


There is something in this line that does not sound right to me - "She wanted to not throw up" I don't know if this is how the phrase would be expressed? But maybe a use of language difference? (if you are not English!)

I think something like "and to avoid throwing up" or "and to stop herself from throwing up/being sick" would sound better here

In Conclusion.....

I liked your flash story and your writing style and thought the interaction between your characters was effective in telling the story to the reader. I can see it was written some years ago and for a contest so maybe it will be a surprise for you getting this review!! *Laugh*


*BalloonB**Books2**BalloonB**Books3**BalloonB*



Signature won in an auction :)

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

Image #2217643 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Winter Wonderland  
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello StephBee Author Icon

I saw that you were asking for reviews of your Wordsearch on the Newsfeed.

I liked that I managed to complete this wordsearch as sometimes I find them too hard and I give up! However it did have a bit of a challenge as I had to look harder for a few of the words at the end as it gets a bit more difficult as more words crowd the board.

A fitting theme for the time of year and I liked your eclectic choice of words. I am not a fan of Winter in general although these words do not remind me of and English Winter - apart perhaps from freezing, it made me think more of Canada with the activities such as hockey, snowtubing and tobogganing. Perhaps if British Winters included such activities they would be more enjoyable. Although that would mean having several inches of snow so the transport networks would grind to a halt, all the schools would close, and people would be panic buying pasta and toilet roll *Laugh* *Facepalm*

There is one word where I think you have a typo - "Artic" instead of Arctic

*Jellyfish*

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.

Image #2330650 over display limit. -?-
24
24
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello VENACAVA Author Icon

I have chanced upon your poem via the "Read and Review" tab

*StarP*The title of the poem

Is evasive as it could relate to a number of things - just a little more - but a little more of what? It provides an element of intrigue for the reader, so I think it is a good title.

*StarP*To me, the poem is about

Time, and the human relationship with it, and the writers opinion of it.

*StarP*What I liked about the poem was

The theme - it is an important one and one which we all think about, and are all affected by. The poem makes valid points that most of us can relate to - losing track of time at some points, wishing for more of it on other occasions.

*StarP*Suggestions

often loose track of - This may be a typo but it should be "lose" not "loose"

we forget it exist - It should say "exists" not "exist"

hearing the alerting rage - To me "alerting rage" does not really make sense here? I think something like just "Hearing the alert" Or perhaps "hearing the dreaded alert" would sound better in this context.

*StarP*Overall -

I think this a good theme for a poem and you have expressed some valid points and ideas on the subject. The final line "Time is what we make it" may make the reader think. I feel that perhaps the poem could flow better - I appreciate it is free form but to me it reads more like several sentences rather than having a poetic feel. I would maybe separate the longer lines in to shorter ones to give more of a sense of a free form poem.

*Jellyfish*

Signature won in an auction :)


Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

Image #2217643 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of A Graveside Visit  
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello The Puppet Master Author Icon

I found this story on the "Plug" page

*BalloonB**Books2**BalloonB**Books3**BalloonB*


What the title says to me

"A graveside visit" could mean one of two things, perhaps a visit to a loved one or something more sinister, so as this was billed as a horror/scary story I figured it would be the latter....

The opening paragraph

Immediately had my attention as it set the scene straight away. The writer tells us it is 1850 and the style of writing makes me believe it is the 19th Century. I liked the description of the gravestones and the grass crunching underfoot which helps the reader to picture the scene.

The plot

As I read through the story of our main character meeting Poe at his graveside I was not sure where the story was going or how it was going to end - the end was a bit of a shock! *Shock* but then it is a horror story after all!

What I liked best

I loved the writing style but my favourite line is probably -

"He took the bottle and drank it, but without a body it just dripped on the ground. "

It reminded me of that scene in Casper where the ghosts are eating and drinking but the food is falling to the floor. Or in that "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie where the crew are all dead.

Anyway it's a vivid image and kind of injects a bit of light heartedness I think.

Suggestions

"Correct. 'Tis I. I have been sent to accompany you on your journey to beyond."

I don't really know why but for some reason I think it would be better to say "The Beyond" rather than just "Beyond" - not sure if that is really grammatically correct though!

In Conclusion.....

I loved your story, it really felt like a 19thC horror story, the ending was unexpected and ties in with the horror theme. I liked the way I can picture the scene from your descriptions.

*Jellyfish*

Signature won in an auction :)

Image #2155020 over display limit. -?-

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
263 Reviews *Magnify*
Page of 11 25 per page   < >