This has got to be one of the funniest stories I have ever read!
You have an amazing gift at knocking down the haughty sparkly bloodsuckers that flushes the pseudo-romanticism of modern vampire tales down the toilet.
You have an in-your-face gift, and I wish I were as talented as you because you are destined to be a very successful professional writer someday if you keep at it. I'm definitely reading more of your stories, and I hope you keep writing them.
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