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1,308 Public Reviews Given
1,311 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Impatients  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here for I Write 2025 *Smile*

Ahh, we have here a thoroughly depressing and unfortunately all too relatable story. Who hasn't felt the frustration of missing the breakfast deadline by two minutes? The temptation to take it out on the cashier is strong, especially when one is hangry. As a neurodivergent person, I honestly much prefer using the kiosk or the mobile app than speaking to a human. Yet the technological hoops one has to jump through have their complications as well. There's nothing quite as awful as losing money on a technical glitch.

All the big stuff is done nicely here: font size, three relevant genres, prompt info, word count, etc. I'll just point out a few refining twiddles you may want to consider. First, is the title correct? Are you perhaps conflating impatience and "impatient people?" Or is that intentional? Then, the word "finally" is used twice within three sentences, which isn't recommended. Then, at the end, the word "going" is used twice in the same sentence. You may want to reframe these for a more refined prose.

Ok, I'm done nitpicking *Laugh* Great work! You've captured an instantly recognizable moment, and I sympathize for your characters.

Oh, best wishes for that ramp *Pray* I don't know what to say to help. You're in my prayers *HeartRate1*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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2
Review of Start Here  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Jeffrey!

I'm back *BigSmile* This drabble looks like fun. I'll point out right at the beginning, your subtitle has a typo in it...

I love writing drabbles. There's something so satisfying about writing exactly 100 words, capturing a beginning, middle and end without having to worry about dragging out character development, dialogue, setting, pacing, and all the gazillion little frustrating things that come into play when writing a longform story. If you don't mind, I'll toot my own horn and invite you to stop by "Pocket Size Stories" Open in new Window. for adventures in drabbles - including the story of a band, told in three independent ones *Delight*

This one captures what feels more like a well-made vignette than a complete story. I don't usually fuss too much over what others tell me are the "rules" for drabbles, because I seem to have a pretty good instinct about them, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to go over them with you. Our Aussie pal S 🤦 Author Icon is prepping a drabble party for the WdC 25th Anniversary celebration in September, so I'm hyped about that.

So, yeah: beginning, middle, end, and conflict. There should be a resolution of some kind by the end, and conflict comes in several varieties: man against man, man against nature, man against machine, man against higher power, or flip any of those PoVs (for instance, nature against nature if you personify animals or machine against who knows what if you do sci-fi...)

Using these points, I see we have a man and a machine. I spot a contradiction in the use of the word "patience." He stared patiently at the screen, yet he didn't have the patience to use a pen and paper? Also, I want to be sure I have the twist down right. At first I thought maybe he was a police officer, a newbie. But it's fairly obvious by the end, he's the person of interest. Which leaves us with more of a tease than anything else, a glimpse of a potentially criminal mind at work. In fact, I just realized why he didn't want to write by hand - evidence *Shock2*

Wow, ok, now I'm impressed. That was quite clever. Perhaps you don't need any advice on this one after all *Laugh* What fun!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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3
3
Review of Business As Usual  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Jeffrey!

I've spent the past couple weeks hopping around in your port, and I've quite enjoyed myself, mostly in the Flash Fiction folder. FF is a great way to pass the time and dabble in genres I wouldn't usually read, from crime and horror to tragedy and "shock jock..." Other times, such as this one, your work is downright hilarious. Be warned, I'll probably be doing a few more reviews for you through the end of the month, because I have a certain number of stories required for "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window. and it can be wearisome finding people and items I care for on a daily basis. Your briefer work is like brain candy, a box of chocolates... Some of them are a little wormy *Wink*

I love this–two bungling robbers *Rolling* No one gets hurt, and there aren't any dark twists (spoilers!) It's a bright, quick pop that had me chuckling along with the cashier. It would make a great YouTube skit.

As previously mentioned (I know it gets tedious to read the same recommendations over and over, so I'll try not to mention this again) the Contest Entry genre is a dead end when it comes to putting your items out there for people to find, or for Quill Award nominations.

Then, in the second sentence, a comma is needed between "gun" and "nonplussed." And it's "disappointment of" towards the end–love that moment! Also, the third sentence up from the bottom has the word "as" twice; I'm sure there's a better way to frame it.

I'm just nitpicking to make this worthwhile... I'm delighted with the story otherwise. Thanks for giving me a packed port to go through.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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4
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Review of Mosaic  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Ken!

Well, it isn't too often I find one of your items on the Random Read and Review button.

I love a good nature poem, and this one is lovely. You've painted mysterious dreamy pictures of things hidden in the mist, and given us a larger theme to ponder with the reminder to stop, look and appreciate the glories of a morning view. There's nothing quite as peaceful as having the early morning and sunrise all to yourself before the hectic rush of the day.

This is good enough to write out and make into a fridge magnet or something as a little gift. I'm happy to have been in a flurry and hurry and chosen the "motivated" review route for my daily review *Laugh*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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5
5
Review of We the People  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Cheshire!

I found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

These are wise, rousing words discussing our precious freedom. As I sit here I am free to do a variety of things with my life. Though I am poor, I hope for the best and work to improve myself. Having just watched news of Putin and Trump, I'm wrestling with the concepts of war, peace and freedom and wondering why it's so hard to reach an agreement when so much suffering is taking place. Your thoughtful essay adds to the discussion, reminding us that power corrupts and that people's worst instincts are based in fear and mistrust. We are afraid of those unlike us, even though we proclaim freedom to be unique and different.

We can hope and work to overcome what frightens us and see the humanity within everyone. We need to realize when strong leaders are manipulating us and causing division and strife.

I would recommend using {size:4}{font:Verdana} at the beginning of your item to enlarge it and make for an easier reading experience across devices.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Work  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Well, this is different: an unfinished story written as a personal anecdote. I love the old-fashioned style, and it feels like you're setting up for a fine yarn with lots of potential for character development and amusing adventures.

Perhaps one thing I'm most curious about is: is this biographical or fictional? If biographical, then you look to have had a long and interesting life. If fictional, it's always fun to write about past eras, childhood and coming of age. I don't know how long or short this will be, or what themes you'll be working with, but I have a few general suggestions as you move forward.

One, you should pick three relevant genres for your item when it's done. This helps get your item in front of the biggest audience of people browsing and also helps give as many opportunities as possible for Quill Award nominations.

Two, you should also pick out a nice cover art for the item to help it stand out among the others. (Also, don't forget to set off paragraphs in your final work *Smile*)

Three, you should learn about our proprietary markup language, which you can use to enlarge the font size and style. Our help document is "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window., and you can also click on "Writing.com Tools" in the left sidebar and then "WritingML: Docs and Help." I like putting {size:4}{font:Verdana} at the beginning of all items to set it at the best and easiest reading experience for all abilities and devices.

I greatly look forward to reading this when it's complete. You can always make it private while you work on it, so people don't pester you with "advice" - not that they will, this is a pretty laid-back site.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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7
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

To answer your questions first: have you tried a different spelling? Since it's a fantasy story, the names don't have to bear resemblance to real ones in this world. You could spell it Ayrene, or Arene, or Aireen, or Ayreen, or something properly phonetic as you would like it. Aerene? If you use the modified spelling you suggested, her nickname can then be spelled more phonetically, since people don't usually spell out nicknames anyway. Ayree?

Second question, I do like the invented name "octanium." I think this would be suitable for your team of eight.

On a different level, I hope to see more of your writing. This was an excellent tease!

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review of A Tragic Mix-Up  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Jeffrey!

I noticed this on the sidebar and thought it looked rather dark and dreadful. I'm a sucker for reading what I'll later regret, so I clicked on it *Laugh*

This is super funny and relatable. The descriptions of the mess, the well-meaning husband and the wife's reaction to it is at once endearing and hilarious. I've never heard the phrase of infuriated agreement at the end, so learned something new from reading this. It's simple, to the point, yet vivid and clearly envisioned. In fact, dare I whisper, it sounds like a true story? *Shock2* *FacePalm*

I would suggest adding three relevant genres, such as Comedy, Experience, Food/Cooking, or Drama, or Relationship, or Home/Garden. This will help people find it when browsing and also help it have as many chances as possible for Quill nominations. Also, you might want to add a note in the subtitle that it's a flash winner, so we know it's good and it isn't overly long.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
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Review of A Clean Escape  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, sir!

I noticed this on the sidebar and thought it looked like a nice quick read. I love flash fiction because, even if it's a subject matter I don't especially care for, it's over quickly and I don't have to waste too many brain cells fretting over it. This, far from being dark and gloomy, is a delightfully witty piece where we can root for the escapee and chuckle at the inherent pun in his mode of egress.

The setting is vaguely ancient, with dungeons and harsh punishment, yet satirically modern, with lunch hour and a jangling cleaning wagon. It invites us to consider societal norms and the complexities of justice... If we cared to bother. Otherwise, it's a lighthearted, tongue in cheek, and kid-friendly short that would make a fun bedtime story.

You've used nice clear font with good paragraph spacing, making an easy reading experience. I would give a couple suggestions on presentation to potential readers: your subtitle and primary genre are enough to have the item slide into the dust, unappreciated. Do try to actually describe what the story is about, in a teasing way, in the subtitle. And the primary genre could at least be Drama, or Action/Adventure, or Crime/Gangster, or Fantasy, or Folklore, or even Philosophy. Anything but Contest Entry *Crazy* Ok, rant over.

Loved this! Glad I noticed it *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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10
10
for entry "Tortilla!" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

Congratulations on completing your PPC5 challenge *Party*

Ah, now who doesn't love a taco? "You can't please everyone, you're not a taco" is a favorite phrase of mine... Do you know about Taco Tuesday? It's actually a thing in America. There was a kerfuffle over the years about trademarking the two words; some no name taco shops had claimed ownership of it, much to the chagrin of Taco Bell, who lobbied to have Taco Tuesday be a common use term. I just learned a couple days ago that they succeeded, and now Taco Tuesday is safe for everyone to use.

Looking at your poem, I can't resist thinking that in just the right British accent, all the lines would rhyme the same *Laugh* *Taco* yes, those tortillas are wonderfully versatile. The only thing I'm sometimes concerned about is the lime used in processing, but I think they're making lime free ones now.

A simple, matter of fact poem - what can I say? Precisely 25 words and conveys a tasty image *Hungry* Good work!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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11
for entry "The Place In Between" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

Well, well! We've succeeded in completing the Promptly Poetry Challenge for 2024/5 *Delight* You are far more experienced at it than I - this was my first rodeo *CowboyHat* Hopefully not my last...

I love your spin on this... It reminds me of the meme "I need more space" with the NASA logo or galaxies. There's a certain wistfulness in releasing bonds and shooting for the stars, all by one's lonesome, but there's also a certain freedom in finally being free of a relationship that just wasn't working. (Wait, a freedom in being free... *Confused* My brain is melting *Laugh*)

So... Yeah. I'm at a loss, but Dave just sent me a review of one of my poems, so I can use that framework to guide my scatterbrain... The title we've been required to use here is fairly interesting. I can say that your structure and form are simple and suitable for the conversational yet solitary contemplation involved. Your narrative is strongly specific, with concrete details. My overall impression is of a bag of mixed emotions... Relief and also sadness.

Well done, and congratulations on completing the challenge *Party*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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12
12
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, sir!

I found this a fairly easy story to follow, once I settled myself into the mythical universe. There's an established (human?) religion, and then there's magic, and the creatures thereof. The boy knows both too much and not enough, simultaneously... His befuddled innocence bounces off against the wisdom of the elf girl fellow student who saves him from disaster.

The scholastic setting was amusing and relatable; it reminded me of Harry Potter, of which I know nothing except that it's a school of magic *Pthb*

Overall, the theme comes through of someone who's in over their head. I'm wondering if Moll is really Oliver's blood brother and if so, how they ended up in such vastly different spheres. There's potential here for themes akin to the Arcane (League of Legends) storyline... Something else I know nearly nothing of except from the Imagine Dragons song Enemy.

I don't quite understand where the "day elf," Fihvyx, comes from. It's obvious by the time we get to the school that she's a spider elf like the others, but how is she also a day elf? Is she the only one at the school? How do all the characters at the school relate? Why is such a thing allowed in a land where it's looked down upon? Who are the beings held back by the dragon? Is the land under the thrall of a dragon pretending to be the light? I noticed the idea of serpents, too.

There's a lot you can do with this; it feels like a vignette, a scene from a larger work, but it could also stand by itself, with a little polish as you mentioned.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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13
13
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

I'm here for I Write in 2025 *Smile*

Well... If I were Soldier Mike, I would tease apart your poetic form to see if you did it correctly! As it is, my eyes glaze over and I refrain from counting syllables in this weather!

Seriously, I love your theme. We all need at least one person in our lives who is kind and loving and creates a safe space for us to express ourselves in all our messy feelings. It's an important part of growth and gaining maturity.

I love the big cheerful grape-candy colored font you've used, it's engaging and emotive.

Glancing over the rules for the poem, I get an instinctive feel that you've succeeded in creating it correctly. At any rate, the expression of love and appreciation is sincere and heartfelt. I do hope you share these feelings with your aunt and let her know how much of a positive impact she makes in the lives of you and her family.

I don't say this often, because it usually comes to mind when I've run out of ideas for a sensible review, but would you consider setting this out in fancy script and printing it as a gift? You don't have to write it by hand; word processors can make gorgeous things these days. Your aunt would love it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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14
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for entry "Mama's hands" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge - soon to be PPC6 *Delight* I'm also here to deliver the 100th review on your poetry folder *Party*

Wow, what a clear and concise way of putting it. It's a haiku, kind of. When I saw the prompt, I assumed Lilli meant a poem of precisely 25 words. I didn't realize it could be fewer. You've captured so much here: decades of hard work, the cycle of life, raising kids, the finality and inevitability of old age, the way we think we're immortal until one day we realize we aren't, the difficulties of motherhood and the importance of gratitude, the commonality of the human experience... Probably a million more things neither of us realized.

What can I say? Well, the font could stand to be a bit bigger... You know I always say Size 4 Verdana *Laugh* it's ok if we blame Jack Author Icon for the advice *Wink* If there was a haiku contest or something similar, I'd recommend you drop this off there. As it is, I'm happy to find it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Finally  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Marigold, and welcome to writing.com!

I found this on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it looked like an interesting read. Around here, one never knows what kind of dark twists lurk beneath seemingly charming stories, but yours is comfortably cozy throughout. The storyline has lots of fun descriptions, warmth and prettiness that will delight any soft soul.

I would recommend tightening up the prose a little, because the flow was rather tedious. I can see you took a lot of time with this and poured lots of details into it, but it feels like just a tiny bit too plodding. I found myself skimming over, looking for the unexpected disaster. What I might suggest, is to try working within a tight word limit. I popped the story into a word counter and it came out over 3200 words. In order to submit to one of the Official WdC Contests, at the top of "Writing Contests @ Writing.Com" Open in new Window., your story needs to be under 2k words. If you're forced to keep within a limit, you'll look at your writing style in a whole new light, asking yourself what exactly needs to be included to give the readers what they need to know to move the story forward.

You can start with a summarization: big wedding, excited families, rainstorm, happily ever after. That's all. How much meat do you want to add to those bones?

Instead of describing every single detail, you can give just enough details to paint the picture. Instead of naming every single person in the family, focus on three or four or five and use their interactions and dialogues to fill us in on the hustle and bustle.

Also, I would sincerely recommend you use a larger font size. Simply add {size:4}{font:Verdana} at the beginning of your text block, and that will adjust it, using our proprietary markup language.

This is overall a super cute story, with loveable characters, a happy ending, and the inevitable unexpected weather outburst. I love learning more about how weddings work, because I've never attended one. The beauty and excitement and dreams and love is palpable here. You just need to streamline it a bit so our eyes don't glaze over *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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16
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings!

I found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

I always like coming across a poem that flows like song lyrics; I spent a lot of time listening to and "studying" music, and I've developed a feel for what makes a good lyrical poem. You have the repetitions, the choral parts, the verses, the buildup of tension, a downturn and a final upturn as we see you hoping and praying for restoration and peace. It has a balanced flow and is easy to read without being overly tedious, as some lyrics can be.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Wealth Untold  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, sir, and thank you for requesting a review *Smile*

For some reason I assumed you were a newbie when I saw this request... Then I remembered I'd fanned you a few days ago and saw you've been around since 2018, which is quite a bit longer than I have.

The first thing I thought of when I read this poem is... Don't feel like I'm trying to cheapen your work in any way; I respect Dan Reynolds as a songwriter, and for me to say this is a compliment. Your poem about the danger of wealth brought this to mind:

video ▼

So... I really appreciate the concepts and themes behind this poem. I think perhaps you should consider what you intended to convey with the repeated use of the word "bare." Did you by any chance mean to use "bear" instead? Also, when you say "A visionary to the wast future," I'm reminded of Sam Weller in Charles Dickens. Perhaps you meant to say "vast?" Or "wasted?" Also, where you say "For those who in need" towards the end, I think you've left off a word, "are in need." These little things pull one out of focus when reading because we wonder what it's supposed to mean and whether it's a mistake.

You have a nice flow here, sort of like a rap or a spoken word poem, with casual rhymes and repetitions that create a rhythm, bringing us down through the poem. The theme is strong, warning us of the temptations and responsibilities that come with great wealth, and the fact that we can't take it with us and we all become dust in the end. Perhaps a cover image would help this piece be more easily noticed among the drifts of poetry that flow through WdC. You can probably pull a good one from the stock collection they offer.

Perhaps, too, you might want to emphasize in the subtitle exactly what the theme is about, instead of wasting words expressing a certain carelessness about the product. Be loud and proud! How is your poem about wealth different from the next one? What makes your approach unique? Let us know before we read it!

Overall, this is an excellent poem with a memorable message, well formatted to stand out with bold font. I believe it could stand a bit of proofreading, which honestly I don't usually say about poetry because of artistic license and such. Other than that, it's great. You even have three suitable genres to help people find it when browsing.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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18
18
Review of Too Much Blue  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Jeff, and welcome to writing.com!

This review is long overdue *Laugh*

I should start with the basic proofreading stuff and get it out of the way. At the word "overview" right on top of Earth's report card, you have an extra curly bracket. Further down, where Zuzu thinks "almost time for lunch," there's a cutoff sentence opening. You've used "their" instead of "there" several times, which is kinda jarring. And while you're there, the three "taps" of Todd's quill pen should be separated by spaces. Ok, nothing else particularly worth mentioning except for a stray bit of markup language at the very last sentence.

If you want, I would highly recommend using a larger font size. My WdC favorite is Size 4 Verdana. Since you've bolded and italicized, I assume you know the basics of WML...

The story is amusingly desultory... What we think of heaven is not what it feels like to those responsible for maintaining the universe *Rolling* *Angelic* I really enjoyed the way it was ultimately so lighthearted; I expected something dark and depressing, especially when rocks were added to the mix *Shock2* Analytically, I'm not especially good at reading, writing or reviewing satire or comedy; I have this peculiar tendency to take everything at face value, and implausible situations either confuse or annoy me. I do appreciate the tongue in cheek approach here, though I wonder which contest you entered it into.

Which brings me to genres: you may want to add a third more relevant genre than "contest entry." Perhaps Entertainment or Philosophy or Mythology or even Spirituality would be great.

As a whole, this was a cute read, giving the heavenly realm a sort of "The Office" flavor, with relatable, infinitely boring jobs and even more dull interaction! Makes one wish for a villain to make it interesting... I'm not sure I trust that Cosmo fellow *Sly* Maybe that could be your sequel *Ha*

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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19
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings!

I'm here for I Write 2025 *Smile*

What an exhausting month... Are you glad it's almost over? I sure am!

You have taken a serious and thoughtful approach to the subject, keeping the prompt questions at the top of your essay to guide and maintain focus. I might suggest setting the prompt off in italics to emphasize they are not your words.

You begin by pointing out how the issue has been dealt with already, citing an author who considered it by writing a story. I find that quite interesting because I also chose to approach the prompt fictionally.

I observed you didn't quite offer any discussion of whether humans are capable of living beyond the earth. Physically speaking, I personally don't think humans are designed for outer space... Well, that's pretty obvious. It would take a huge amount of effort to create a stable environment for people to thrive, and that's assuming you could find a planet that wasn't too close or too far away from a star of similar size to the sun. The odds of finding a planet safe to colonize are such that it seems as if God didn't want us going far afield.

I should remember I'm not here to answer the questions but to review your answers. As such, I found the essay easy to read and understand, though perhaps a bit rambling, but no more than I would have if I'd chosen to write an essay *Laugh*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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20
20
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Rick!

What a heartwarming story *HappyCry* I found this a few days ago on the sidebar and thought I couldn't possibly let it go without a review.

I've had a difficult month, between the summer heat and mental health, technology and bad news, projects running on the edges of deadlines, lack of motivation and sheer exhaustion. I spend most of the day floundering, it seems.

Everything about this story is like a Hallmark movie, with vivid, relatable details and a warm balance of love and reality. It shows us what can happen when people reach out to their neighbors with love and kindness. It doesn't have to be a big gift or an eloquent speech, just being there for someone when they need it, steadfast and loyal.

Job interviews... Ugh. I know that intensely. Every one seems worse than the last, without any end in sight. I need someone like Cal in my life, to keep me grounded and optimistic.

Spirituality is a delicate and subtle thing. Simple humanity can do more for the soul than all the pomp and circumstance of an elaborate ceremony. I'm in gentle tears, considering the theme of this story and how it plays into what I've been ruminating on the last few days.

I'll try to give some points of what I liked about the story so this isn't all fluffy unicorns... The characters are relatable and real, rooted in the city streets and apartments of their community. The narration is sympathetic, telling what needs to be told and showing what needs to be shown with a balance that's neither too preachy nor too cryptic. The storyline is simple: an old man and a young woman strike up a conversation and form a deep bond that draws a community together even in tiny ways. The theme is timeless, one we all need to know and consider. I see no errors of grammar or other issues that pull me out of the story. It is well-written and bears the unique mark of genuine humanity.

In other words, it's nearly perfect. Have you considered entering it at "Senior Center Forum" Open in new Window. for an opportunity to receive an award? All you would have to do is add a word count at top or bottom.

Also, I see you have only two genres selected. Three is always recommended for Quill nominations, and I think Writing is not considered one of the nominating genres, though we'd have to check on that. I would suggest Drama, Relationship, Community, Philosophy, Emotional, Family, or Career.

Take care, thank you very much for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of WLTM IRL  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Jeff *Smile*

I discovered this fun piece via the Random Read and Review button.

Being a softie, I kinda skimmed lightly through it, looking for the "punchline" which I suspected was in there somewhere towards the end. Knowing your style, I found the ending to be satisfying and amusing. (There wouldn't have been much point to the story otherwise, imho... *Think*)

I would recommend using a larger font size, and perhaps adding a cover art to give it a little pizzazz, but aside from that I can't think of anything to improve this straightforward yarn. I can almost see Anton's obnoxious smirk as he fishes for prey. I'm a little confused by the combination of both "urban camo" and "vampire hunting regalia," but that's my own cultural aversion to the subject *Laugh*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Sue.

I'm here for I Write 2025 *Smile*

You paint here a bleary picture indeed... I can almost feel the coal dust staining everything, and the sense of despair is palpable.

The one spark of hope we see is when Russell stops to help a fellow man and regains some of his humanity by reconnecting with those who are also struggling. He resolves, not to attempt to overthrow the unjust government, but simply to stand by his neighbors and be a man worthy of respect.

You present an angle of English history I had not specifically heard of before. Like you, I lean economically left and am aware that Margaret Thatcher was a rather awful prime minister. This is a quick glimpse of the havoc wreaked on society's poorest by the callousness of those in power.

I would note, this is likely not rated E by WdC standards because of the word "sh*t" at one point. Also, you have several extra quotation marks scattered throughout at the beginning and end of paragraphs. Other simple typos such as "it's" for "its" and "principal" instead of "principle" could stand to be tidied up.

I learned a new word: "flannelette," a soft fabric made not from the wool of flannel but of cheaper, coarser cotton.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Tim!

It's been a while since I've reviewed you. I found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

Hands - we all need them! Especially, as humans, we need those opposable thumbs. I enjoy reading your cheerful rhyming poems about everyday life. Something about your tone always gives them a fanciful air.

Since it's about sports, I understand the reward of drinking alcohol at game's end, but since I know you're a Christian and write poetry about your faith, it might be nice to have a more spiritual perspective at the end to set our sights on higher things.

Other than that, it was a fun and thought-provoking read *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "July 16, 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings *Dove*

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

I have a storied and awkward relationship with music, being both totally obsessed with it and at the same time woefully unaware of some of the best of it. Perhaps my neurodivergency makes it harder to step out of my auditory comfort zone. Thank you for making me aware of a piece of classical music; I shall have to hear it for myself.

"Rises and falls" - oh, I get that. I often consider the different elements of my favorite music, and marvel at how some songs are composed with "the same energy throughout," at a high level of audibility. Other songs have low-pitched, low-key verses that sink into the background, and sometimes the only way I can recognize them in a crowded space is by one or two hooks that rise above the din.

Ooh, two new words for the folds of the brain *Delight* How ever did I miss these in my biology textbooks? I was just remembering the xylem and phloem yesterday... *Tree2* *Brain*

I don't think I would have thought of rhyming "mission" and "contrition." That's ingenious. In my head I think of "contrite" and pronounce it accordingly *Laugh*

Thank you as always for a well-crafted and thought-provoking poem. I'm glad I found it; I learned several new things.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Different Crowns  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

I really enjoyed this story. It speaks about seeking after peace in a relatable way, set in the real world among young people of today dealing with today's issues, and draws in Christianity to address it in a spiritually satisfying way, rather than presenting some sort of wishy-washy secular attitude.

I would suggest you add an item link at the bottom to show what contest you have written it for. I also noticed a couple of typos... I detest trying to scroll back through an item and find the typos again - I wish I would take note as I'm reading *Laugh* Oh, here's one: where Evelyn says "What does that have to us?" It should be "to do with us." Other than that, nothing which majorly tripped me up.

I'm glad you entered this contest... I need to gather my overheated, summer-slump wits and put something together for it myself. I have plans to write something combining it with "Merit Badge Magic" Open in new Window., which oughta be fun. Good luck to you!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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