Review Requests: ON
1,364 Public Reviews Given
1,606 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Disclaimer: I am not good at remembering to do requested reviews. Often I have busy things going on with work and my own novels, so sorry if I decline or don't remember to do a review in the short time given. Just a warning. When I review: Long. Depending on the type of story and reason for review I tend to get anywhere from 4,000 characters to on the rare occasion over 10,000. I will make overall comments, technical points and even offer sources when necessary but a lot is dependent on what I'm reviewing. I can even do a full edit but that's take a lot of niceness and time.
I'm good at...
Ummm let me ask someone and get back to you on this.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy. I read a lot of romance/erotica because of the contest I run. I'm fairly open and will read stories, poems, nonfiction, chapters, almost anything.
Least Favorite Genres
I know less about mystery, horror, some nonfiction topics, and westerns. I also don't care for vampires, sorry but just don't interest me.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Probably campfires and interactives. Maybe surveys and polls too though I can always managed to find enough to say.
I will not review...
Shrink or Growth items. I've seen references and yeah, not my type. Erotica is one thing, I can handle most with only few times leaving a story feeling scarred for life, but those two I have no interest in helping. So, unless you want me to say please stop, don't request I review that and if you do, better have it rated appropriately.
Public Reviews
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1
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Borb Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I found your poem through the random read function. The title caught my attention, followed by the words of the poem. It interested me so I thought that I would send you a little feedback. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: I like what you have created here. The title is interesting, creating a pull for me to check out the item. Makes me wonder what is getting extinguished and why. It's a little haunting even.

Imagery: The poem does well in the creation of imagery from the first stanze with the cactus and rain. I can see what is being described and even sense some of the emotions in this very short poem.

Final Thoughts and Suggestions: Overall, it's a good poem. I do have a couple of small suggestions. First, the description for the statiic item. Right now you just have it as "a little poem" and that is true. This is a little poem. However, it might help if you want to draw other readers in to put something about the subject matter. This can be hard to write, so can understand the choice made here but there are other options that could be considered.

Then there is the end. While it does work, there is also something about it that just pokes at me. I feel like that is an areas that you can play around with for this poem, if you decide to do a rewrite. I know not everyone goes back to adjust poems and I am one who has never changed a number of poems over the years since my focus tends to be my novels instead. So, it's just something I'm offering as a suggestion that could be done but not that it has to be done.

I enjoyed the poem. Thank you for sharing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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2
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hi there. I saw when you posted this in the newsfeed and thought it would be fun to do a review of your description over how you rate/review things now. Plus, this helps with the challenge you are running that I need to reach a streak goal for reviews. *ThumbsUp*

First is the review part. Then I have my general thoughts on the topic.

Review:
I like the layout that you have with this item. It has certain sections put out in ways that help creates division. This is a good use of font size, the bold font and different alignment on the page. The star emoticon to showcase the topic instead of just say Stars and leaving it at that are also a nice element of appearance. This is definitely a good topic. Even though people never complain about my reviews, I have had some trepidation when I know something might not be all roses as to how the other person might respond. Having a reference could be handy for people, especially since not everyone follows the same rate and review philosophy.

Thank you for sharing!

Now my random thoughts that you didn't ask for but probably already know some because we've met. lol

I'm with you on some of these. Don't ever see the need for the 1 star excdept for that 1 Star Poetry Contest thing that is run like once a year. If I have to rate, and I kinda wish the reviewer also had a choice, most of mine tend to be between 3-4.5. Not often on the 3 unless it's something that is more a starting point that needs a lot of work. It's hard to do a 5 with my mind still thinking that's like publication ready style. Though a recent Quickie entry was very much a 5 star read.

For my own... I turn of the rating thing. People can send comments but they don't need to deal with the rating part. I know most of my writing needs some work since I procrastinate and don't always give myself edit time for contest entries. I'd probably rate a 3.5-4.5 on my own work even if I felt it was necessary to have ratings. But I've come to prefer just having the review option.

This item, I am giving five stars. *Wink*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Hello, Lonewolf Author Icon!

Thank you for taking the time to enter The Weekly Quickie contest for round 389 with the Poet prompt. Even thoug the week didn't get enough entries, your story was really appreciated.

First Impression: Wow. I don't think I wouild even have stood a chance against this story if I had been able to enter the contest. Very well done and you had me hooked right away with the characters. This is a very good read. I hope other people find it.

Prompt: This fits the prompt very well. I had hoped giving a writer type character would draw people in because it seems common for writers to use author or any other writer type character. I have seen my number of them just from judging official site contests. Unfortunatley, no one else entered that week. But you did a perfect version of the prompt with the poet main character and included the bits of poetry. Quite smooth, just like the character mentioned to the poet.

Characters/Story: I like both characters. Normally, for a quick story with such a minimal word count, I don't recommend people do both POV because it takes up time and there is the risk of the head hoppy feeling some readers don't like. However, you write it so well and the transitions are minimal. They don't distract from the reading and help give us a little personality to the female love interest beyond how much the main character moons over her. Have to admit, the description in the beginning had me interested too. And I liked the idea of the little notes for communication. So cute.

Other Notes: There really isn't anything that I could suggest to change. It's a very good story. *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.
~~Image ID# 1850193's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review of Loving It  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello, bobaturn Author Icon.

Thank you for entering Round 386 of the Weekly Quicki Contest. I appreciated the entrie and usage of the prompt for the contest.

First Impression: Right from the beginning, I was with Nancy. The love councel thing, I could imagine being there and only half listening to something like that and it's an idea that works for the particular contest entered. The boss brought about an interesting approach, taking the story a different way than might first be expected.

Prompt: The story does have the character starting a new job. In this case, she did quite well thanks to some mentoring from the "boss". That works in regards to the prompt.

Characters/Story: I did like Nancy, in particular in the beginning, as we see a little spark but also some vulnerability within the story. The end is the only place where I get a litttle uncertain. Unfortunatley, due to the word count limit, we didn't really get to see her doing the practice of the first day that does so well that she earns well. Would need a lot more words than an under 1k limit probably to show the day and her experiences. The kiss with the boss, if I'm reading that right, was another place that threw me off. It's okay for things that are not expected. At the same time, I can see why it is added to give us the romance part of the contest, so that does make sense even if it seems sudden.

Other Notes: Overall, it's a good attempt at taking a different approach to the new job storyline. It was different, so that made for an interesting read. And I can see it being quite interesting with some more development.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.
an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  
Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hi there SkyHawk - Into The Music Author Icon!

Thank you for taking the time to enter the Weekly Quickie Contest in January with the "new" based set of prompts. I appreciated the entry and hope that you enjoyed the challenge of the contest.

First Impression: You had me interested with the title. His own trap? That made me wonder what it could possibly be to snag the character into a situation or some kind of fun. And I wasn't disappointed with the use of the picture in the beginning.

Reminds me of certain advertisements that I have seen on Facebook. They offered a "boudoir photography" session for the winner of some raffle or something, not exactly sure as I was never interested. I don't like photos of me at all, let alone getting put in that setting. But I can see how others might find it appealing.

The addition of the BDSM little element into the story was also fun. It helped give us some character through reactions and how he handles the situation. Well done.


Prompt: The entry does follow the prompt of the week with him having to go into the different photography based job instead of what he had been doing before. I like the aspects of the character we got to see with this point of view and the usage of the prompt to show some development.


Characters/Story: This is an interesting one because we often think of the norm, heterosexul romance stories as the ones from the female point of view. Mine are from the male often but that's because both characters are male. However, I say with this particular story, you made a good choice in giving us the whole story from his point of view. You could probably write the story two time, one from each character's point of view just to see how it goes but I do like the current version.


Other Notes: Overall, this is well done. I enjoyed the read and really appreciate that you took the time to enter the contest. Again, thank you!


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


~~Image ID# 1850193's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
I like steampunk as well but there are certain challenges over it that I haven't been willing to try either. I had read somewhere that steampunk usually has elements of alternative history and I don't know history that well. Instead, I do stories with aspects inspired by steampunk. Like I have a story that includes elemental faeries that have the elements of wood and metal included, plus there are wooden airships that travel between planets. Still a made up fantasy world but uses some of the victorian styles and metallic elements in some steampunk styles.

Nice post for the challenge. Steampunk was mentioned a few times. It is interesting with the plethora of genres, people shared ones they didn't want to write for different reasons.
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7
Review of Contest Entries  
for entry "Security at Work" 
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (3.5)
Hi there Angelica Weatherby- Snowangel Author Icon!

Thank you so much for taking the time to try and enter my contest. I know you don't always get the chance but you make an effort whenever you can. It helped that this could be part of the Contest Challenge since it was during January when that challenge promoted this contest. So, well done in taking part in both.

First Impression: I think I have said this before about an entry from you in this contest but this does seem like a good idea but it's something that needs fleshed out. You got things started here and we get a little bit of the character, the situation and the world but we don't quite get enough. Write more and keep going. Develop things out into a few scenes where we get to see her start the job, what she is chasing then have the food trap situation. Build up to it more and it will be quite the fun story for readers.

Prompt: This does well in following the prompt adding in a fantastical world touch to give us something in the speculative fiction realm, not just modern or regular romance. She is starting her knew job and working there is vital for her to learn the information about the love interest. That is a good touch because you want the conflict to be connected to the relationship element. So, this does enough for the prompt and brings a good touch of adding something unexpected.

Characters/Story: Like I said earlier, this is a good start for both the character and the over all story. We get a glimpse into this main character, her different world and the situation at hand. However, the problem with the fantasy element is that there are things the reader isn't going to know. It's hard to do in flash fiction and stories under 1,000 words and I know these aren't your forte genres, romance and erotica. It can be tough trying to add them and rushing to get to the point instead of breaking up the scenes. But I think this would do better if she works longer at the new job before she gets that glimpse of what she could detect and her finding out the secret of her love interest. It needs drawn out a little more so that it isn't just easy, day one and done type. At least, that's how I feel when considering the story.

Other Notes: This is a good starting point and a fun idea. I did enjoy getting to read it and really appreciate the entry. It was a good week so we might get to have some prizes once I get through all of the reviews. I'm gland people gave it a try with the bonus of the Contest Challenge. I was glad to see that you had entered and I hope you keep trying and working on your stories.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie. Good Luck!


~~Image ID# 1850193's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of 47 Steps  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello DS Author Icon.

I want to say thank you for the story that you entered in my contest. This was appreciated. My apologies for taking so long with the review but I always forget how distracting Novel Prep and November Novel writing can become. It's really hard for me to do anything during those months aside from novel writing focus. Judging the official contest from November didn't help either. So, I'm sorry that this took so long but also, these are quite a challenge with the length which is all my own fault, lol. Thank you for going to the effort of writing over 5,000 words on one story within the limits of a contest deadline.


First Impression: I'm glad the world isn't like this but it was quite believable that a government would become not only monitoring but start tracking people and giving them a rating or number system almost like it's a game or a social media event. You created an interesting approach to one of the prompts and got quite the story going, getting it all done and contained within a limit that fit the long word count of the contest. This will be a good read for a number of people here on the site who might enjoy a work/government control type of conflict with also some aspects of social standards put into that control.


Prompt: This follows the prompt about not having privacy anymore with the government not only watching what the main character does but giving a rating and attempting to correct behavior that is considered undesirable, pushing the man to do things in the social norm. This means not swearing and having certain productivity elements. Not what I had imagined but something that makes total sense with the prompt. It was easy to find and made for quite the conflict.

Characters/Story: There are a few different elements that helped the story and others that didn't work as well with me being the reader. The setting is realistic and there is just enough for me to see without going into too many details. While it is nice with the larger word count to have the ability to describe more, it's also good not to go too far because readers then might get bored and skips things including the risk of skipping something important that would cause later confusion.

Character - This is where I struggled as the reader. When it came to the main character and the sense of understanding or connection that we sometimes want to see there was difficulty. This character might be a hard sell with the beginning because they aren't very likable. Well, that is my take, at least. Someone else might have a different opinion of the character because the reactions were understandable... it just was getting hard for me to root for them even if I understood why they had the reactions they did to the problems faced in the story. Not that someone doesn't wake up from a bad day or night swearing from a hangover and such. I could handle it for a while but when that seemed to be more part of personality than having a situational explanation, it got harder to root for them even though there was still a little hope they would get a couple points for good behavior.

Other Notes: The grammar and everything seemed okay in general. Nothing jumped out to me during the different times that I read the story, which was more than once. The spacing seemed a little bit much at first but I got used to it and started to make sense given the nature of the story. However, there is some element of the ending that does cause mention but is another personal opinion situation.

Here is the thing about the way it ended... That type of ending is almost overdone. It's sort of like the "it was all a dream" type of ending, which people sometimes have problems with because after all of what they had believed happened, it's less satisfying to think that maybe it hadn't actually happened. There is a similar feeling towards where the character ends up in a mental hospital or some type of facility at the end. Though I can see why it went that way with the struggles at the end but it's definitely not a happy, character gets victory type of approach. Well, other than the fact that at least the institution had warmer rooms compared to his apartment and he no longer had the judgement or work. I suppose I just was hoping for something more at the end other than gets institutionalized because the control drove the character crazy. So, it's not a bad ending but it's got a little less satisfaction compared to some other options.


I really appreciated the entry. Thank you for taking the time to write such a long story and to take on the difficult prompt with the removal of privacy to create this dystopian type of situation.


Keep writing!


Image for contest made by Neko


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
9
9
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Greetings WriterRick Author IconMail Icon!

Thank you for sharing your story on the site. I found this to be an interesting read so decided to send over a view with some comments that i hope will be helpful to you. Since this was initially created for a contest, it is helpful that I am aware of the initial content idea and the prompt. So, I do know some of the elements involved as one of the judges of that round from back in November.

When it comes to the prompt, that was easy to find since you used the exact words in the middle. It is a little bit of a challenge with someone who is in a caste system where they might not be capable of reading. Helps that you do acknowledge the element as it's said that the character can barely read. I did question the access to books and material when it came to the character along with the ability. I can see why you would do it this way. Another thing that might consider if enter another round with the quotation based prompt is to develop the story so that you don't have to use the prompt in a copy/paste type of way. In fact, in this one maybe there was a way he could have thought about something similar to where we could get that he was often trying to change his whole world or some way where he hadn't changed himself. The judge will be able to find the prompt in that way too. Just an idea. I know it's a challenge as I have also entered the contest before.

I liked the idea of the story and the character. We get a realistic world, something we may have read about when learning history and the way different communities had existed in the past. The loss puts in some emotions along with the general hardship but not to the point of being extreme. Much of the story works well.

One final thing that I will recommend is that for anything that you post on WDC that might be for a contest, whether it's required or not, I would get into the habit of posting the word count at the bottom. Most contests do require it somewhere. For example: when I create a static item that is based off a prompt for something on the site, I put on the bottom details. For poems I will put line count along with word count. Then will include prompts and I put the contest in typed form along with a link. So, I would type out "Writer's Cramp" and below that put a ritem link to the contest. I do this because I've read old items on my portfolio and can't remember the reason for some of them as I've been on the site 20 years. It does really add up. Having this become a habit will help so that you don't end up disqualified for something like a word count. Also, if you enter writer's cramp, remember to put the word count in the forum post. Challenges ask for counts in posts too sometimes so another habit to consider.

Anyways, I did enjoy reading the story. I hope that you enjoyed the challenge of the contest and the prompt even if it didn't work out that particular round. Nice work and good luck in the future with entries to other contests.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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10
Review of Fireworks  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello bobaturn Author Icon

Thank you for taking the time to enter the Weekly Quickie Contest. My apologies for the delays on reviews for rounds. I know it can be a challenge to keep items, especially considering how many contests you try to help with putting in entries. I also had to judge an official site contest, so that put me even more behind than normal. So, my apologies. I do appreciate the entries in any round for the contest.

First Impression: Wow, you can put a lot into one little story. There is enough in each little paragraph to add details, the dialogue to get characters going and interacting and bam, things happen. I was part way through the story wondering how you were fitting romance when Ralph did not act like a good prospect, then he went away and we got to meet the other character. You do a better job at putting in multiple characters and situations within less than 1,000 words than I ever could imagine doing.

Prompt: *Fireworks7* This does use the fireworks from the prompt and brings the characters together at the end in a way that is satisfactory for having the sort of conflict and expectations of genre settled.

Characters/Story: This was an ups and down type of read for me. It did have a lot happen. And it started off with a great line. I really liked how you referred to it as "the lonelies." Not as keen about the lesbian hinting verbiage but that is a character choice, so can understand the purpose but did give less liking at first for the main character but I still had sympathy for the hetero character lamenting over the guy not being around. I did get a little confused about what had happened. Since that wasn't really the focus of the story, I didn't quite get about why he was leaving or not around. The ghost hints made it seem almost like death but wasn't, though also just not showing up anymore or no longer sending messages is called ghosting... The main focus was to get to the next guy and it's good that she recognized he wasn't a long term but a way to help move on instead of not noticing until it's too late. Nice use of the prompt.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello LightinMind Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the image based prompt.

First Impression: It's not an expected story, so that makes for an interesting read. Others might enjoy the challenging point of view, depends on the preference to protagonist likability of the readers.

Prompt: This does work for the prompt but it was a little harder to work with in the concept just because of an expectation for more of a focus on the change of self compared to the change the world first part of the quotation mark. Still was a qualifying story.

Final Comments: Thank you for adding the explanation on the bottom because I wouldn't have thought about that element and important connection. At times I might look up something but more often than not, I get distracted so will forget if there is anything in someone else's story that might be worth a little research.

I had a slightly hard time getting into the story. The character isn't the most likable but there was the question of whether there would be redemption at the end. So, it was one where I sort of thought maybe the emperor might change though I guess the title should have been a tip as to how that wouldn't happen. Thank you for taking the time to write this story and entering the contest. It was a tough round and we appreciated every entry.

Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: Started off strong with the title that brought in the saving the world part of the prompt. The medical/illness point made things interesting but that might be in part from watching shows with medical serial killers in them like Snapped, etc. It was also an interesting choice for the present tense, so that will be a hit with some readers but might be a drawback for others.

Prompt: The prompt was easy to find through the start of the title and in navigating the prompt until we get to the big moment, which is the very end of the story. A change is important for the prompt so that was something I did check for when reading over the story with a focus on a character.

General Comments and Final Thoughts: Thank you for taking the time to consider font and such with this story. It was easy to read so I could focus on the character and following the dialogue since that was a big part of the story. This gives the reader the feeling that they might be eavesdropping over a big plot when it comes to this deadly illness. Had to wait to the end to find out what the character would decide. Nice work.


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of 26 Paychecks  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Howdy! You knew this was coming since it is one of the requirements for Week 1 Task with the 26 Paychecks challenge, so I'm doing as requested in sending this review. It's also fun, sometimes, to review something a little different than a story or a poem.


Question 1: What would be your favorite paychecks (prizes)? I'm not completely sure. I don't do these so much for be prizes so things like gift points and merit badges are nice, but I would do the activity even without them. I like the social elements and getting to see what the other people on the site also do for the challenges. I do enjoy having more writing or other things on my page even if they take up some space and I eventually need to delete to clean up my page. Still, the fun is in the making of the items, getting to be creative and feeling like I have an active role on the site but that's not helpful for considering what types of things you could offer. I suppose some fun trinkets are a good options for getting a task done or maybe a point system to earn something special even if it's just a review or a c-note. I'm not picky.


Question 2: What would be your favorite tasks? Another one that I'm not sure about because there are so many options. There are a few things that I don't do very often and there are some social ways that you could create with such an activity. Putting things on notepads of different people is one. Sending out c-notes is another good social one. I've also found that I have a few items I've rarely or never created, so making something like a word search or even a campfire, things you don't often see in contests would be fun too.


Question 3: Why are you giving the star rating that you are providing? Cause you are awesome! I mean, the activity is awesome too. This is a fun challenge and a great way to get people active doing different things on the site. This is also creative and different than the other things that we have done before. You always find neat ways whether it was the combine a story contest that I still have my entries from or the challenge to enter so many times throughout a year. It all has been fun. You are very generous with prizes but these activities are great for just the involvement. This one is easy to read. The font is easy to read. People should be able to navigate things well and that is also helpful. It is well deserving of the five stars. It's just that awesome.



Thank you Harley!!
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Review of A Change of Heart  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  [ASR] . Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: I did like the story created here even though I was a little uncertain in the middle since the main character wasn't the most likable due to her stubbornness and wanting everyone to see how right she was in any situation. It was an interesting approach with putting the water topic and an English teacher being so determined to knowing the layout of another country to be the right one. Gave room for what the plot needed even more than usual due to the prompt and that was for her to change.

Prompt: This does make a good use of the prompt with how the main character, who is quite stubborn, eventually does change. We also get the sense with her moving to other locations to be of service that it is a sort of real world approach to the concept of trying to change the world.

Story Thoughts: it is kind of interesting that a few stories in the middle of the list, I'm guessing it's done based on date of submission, all had the word change in the title. Just kind of a funny little circumstantial thing. It does make sense with the prompt since the focus is on change.

Final Comments: Overall, I think that this was a well done story. It may have had a little challenge because it was such a touch competition this round but I'm sure on each list it was a close call. You did well in the characterization and coming up with something not overtly expected but that made sense. Well done.


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
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Review of The Park Cleaner  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Damon Nomad Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt. Nice work in creating an entry for a site contest as that's not an easy task.

First Impression: The story has a slightly questionable protagonist that has room to grow, given the opportunity to change just like the prompt needed. The story takes a natural path with the information the reader will get to shat had happened in the past to bring us to the point of the present then provide the conflict where challenges arise. The end is a nice combination, bringing back the other character to really get the point across.

Prompt: This has a nice choice for the prompt because the main character almost didn't have anything to lose while also having maybe everything to lose in making a change for his life. It might not influence the world itself, but how he faces things and maybe even the future of a friend come to place with the conflict and that works. While you also sort of copy/past the quotation prompt into the story, with the paragraph it is used within, that ended up working and not coming off too forced. You did a nice job with the story.

Story Thoughts: It is a fairly well written story. The character might not be the shining armor good guy that someone might expect but he's also not so far gone that a reader will struggle to relate. There is the hope and that shows with what does happen in the story given the situations that he comes upon.

It is a good choice with this older character. because they have that experience. We can see he hasn't had an easy life, that things aren't getting much better or that is how it feels. It's hard to tell if that good luck moment will come or something else bad might happen. He has choices to make and has made bad ones in the past. This time, the does good and there is a payout in a way that is believable. I like the second chance this story shows.

Final Comments: I don't have too many technical comments to provide. It might benefit from an edit if you wanted to do a little adjusting, like most stories could almost always use. I would look at adverbs such as the ones that end in -ly because if you take a few of them out, rewriting for a more solid option then it becomes just a little stronger. However, it's quite good in the current draft. It was a tough competition.

Thank you for the entry. I hope you keep writing and have a good year.


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Adherennium Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt. I hope you enjoyed the challenge that came with creating this entry.

First Impression: This is a fun idea that takes a different spin to the frog prince type fairy tale. I liked the idea and the character that you created because it has that inspiration but you put that twist with how the character is developed along with what ends up happening in the plot line. It was fun and got place high in my ranking.

Prompt: This does well with the prompt. There might not be a big world crisis, but that's sort of the point with the quotation. We get a character who has this idea for how her world or life should go. She learns that maybe that's not the case so instead she needs to consider changing that outlook. Well done.

Story Thoughts: This story was easy to read. Will probably depend on the reader, however, as some might not enjoy the joking, poke at the fairy tales like the princess and the pea and such. I'm hit or miss on those types of stories as well. This one, I enjoyed. Then again, I'm going to be one of those who appreciates the prince being a princess end line more than some others.

I'm not 100 percent sure on the use of the sort of comments often made (). They break out of the box since it's sometimes done to give information to the reader but that, when done often, can make the story feel choppy. Or some might struggle with the break in the fourth wall that they can give. Some of the comments made in them, however, are golden so it's understandable why they have been used. Maybe not all are needed but many can certainly remain because of what they offered.

While I like the idea and it makes sense, I wonder if there is a better title that could be used for this story. Like, one can get the princess and frog connection by the story. A more creative or different title might help make it stand out and show that this takes a different take instead of following the obvious if one reads the title since those stories about kissing frogs are so well known. Just an idea.

Final Comments: Overall, I appreciated this story. It's fun and creative, taking a different approach to the contest prompt. This did a good job in creating that character along with representing a change. Nice work.


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of His Mother Cried  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello THANKFUL SONALI On Hiatus Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: This is a really good story with a solid character and thought out plot that different readers will appreciate. The main character is someone who works in the school system and they see a student who is struggling but there is a reason behind, one they see a solution. People will relate to these characters but also feel an emotional response to what happens.

Prompt: The interpretation of the prompt was quite interesting. This isn't exactly what I might have expected in some ways, because I didn't really know what to expect other than copy and pasting the words into a story. The interpretation made sense and the character really shows a change. And you did get a little twist in the story too, keeping the plot something that might stand out in someone's memory after they read the story.

Story Thoughts: As stated already, this is a story that is easy to enjoy. The main point of view protagonist is someone easy to understand and they are quite likable. It is realistic and brings up a social topic too in considering how different schools have to compete with test numbers instead of considering what is best for all of the students. This shows how that might influences teachers and administration decisions. And as someone who worked with students on the autism spectrum, I know the struggle some face and the difficulty that comes in some locations in special education rooms. Others will have experiences as parents or those working in the field that will connect with the character and decisions made. It was nice and interesting as to the result for the student in the story too.

Final Comments: Overall, you did very well with this particular story and the usage of the prompt. It ranked high on my list when I judged the contest. Can see why the other judges also did similar, helping the story get that third place. It Is well deserved. Thank you for sharing the story!.

Keep writing and entering contests. *Papers1* *PenV*


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello John Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest"  [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: At the beginning of the story, I wasn't expecting the mystical fantasy type element that was brought in with the glowing prism. I liked where it went with the addition of the magical call for change. The whole concept was clearly born from the prompt but also provides a good view, plus a message to consider. Well done.


Prompt: I appreciated that since you did use the words of the prompt in the story, you bolded it so that the judge could easily find the usage. While it wasn't necessary to put the actual words into the story, it's understandable that you would bring focus to that point. However, that did make me wonder about the glowing prism and why that was also bolded. I would almost think that you could have gone without using the wording of the quotation, however. Not that doing so was wrong but I think this story would work even without that to give the same message. She could come around to the same message. I just would have preferred different wording or something so that it wasn't an exact copy of the prompt word for word. Still, a good idea story wise.


Story Thoughts: The story has a strong plot and an interesting character for the reader to follow. It starts of showcasing the status quo of the character, helping to settle in the way the character might need to change by the end of the story. Since I'm a fan of fantasy, the gem element and idea of the call to change the world worked in a few different ways that could be appreciated as the reader.

One thing you might want to do is to fix the title because you ended up with a minor typo due to the addition. I would just delete the part about the contest and if you want that known right away, you can add it to the description. Another option is to add it to the bottom of the item in a note, which is what I suggest. Now I not only link the contest but I type out the name in case someone deletes a closed contest so that when I go back to read my own item years later, I know what had first been the inspiration.

I like the idea in general because we might like reading about magic and stuff that can be used to change the world but that's not something we will realistically find in our world. Instead, the only thing that we can really change is ourselves as that will have an influence on our own world but we can do that in ways to try and help change things for others.

Another point that didn't influence rating or decisions in the contest but something you might consider would be to increase the font size to 3.5 or 4 instead of leaving it in the current sizing. It can be a little hard to read the regular size on the site even though it's much simpler to leave things that way.

Final Comments: Overall, this is fairly well written. It wouldn't hurt to do another edit, if one was done before submitting to the contest but that is normal. Most of us have items that need a little editing and it's always hard to get to a final, needs nothing else stage for an item. Nice work with taking the quotation prompt, which isn't the easiest to use in creating a story. I hope you enjoyed the challenge and know that the judges to appreciate having entries even if these reviews and sometimes final results take a little time.

Nice work! Keep writing. *PenB*


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Kristi Love Author Icon.

Thank you for taking the time to enter Weekly Quickie Contest back at the end of October for the Hallows Eve type prompt. My apologies for the delays in the reviews as November is always very distracting for me as a novel writer. I appreciated the entry. Hopefully you enjoyed the prompt and writing the little story.


First Impression: This was an interesting story that worked well with the prompt provided during the time from the contest. It showcases a haunting situation with a character who is ready to be with the one she loves. It focuses more on a romantic angle with something that a reader might anticipate or they might not, depending on their approach.

Prompt: The story follows the prompt very well. With how I wrote the prompt, it was just an expectation to have any type of story where the veil is thin around Hallows Eve. Since it's known that ghosts or people who are deceased, souls, could return possible or there be connections for a short time, the story is based on what this particular character does in that situation. Well done.

Characters/Story: I do like the approach you took with the story. For me, it's not the most surprising but that's okay. At times, with romance, there isn't a requirement for surprise or twists and turns. We can sort of know where things are going because the reader focuses more on the ride and the emotions. We get a romance here, a loss that was felt and a way where she can get back to him.

Other Notes: Overall, it's fairly well written. There isn't much that stood out. I'm not sure on the font size, so if you don't adjust, that is one thing to consider in the future. If you haven't already considered for static items on the site, I recommend either using 3.5 or 4 as a general size. It's just easier to read.

The only other thing that stands out a little is that since it's a lot of short paragraphs, the speed of the story becomes faster. There might be a few spots where you could add more sensory details to build the world. You have some good details but since there was more words allowed than what you used, you could maybe put in even more details to show the scene to the reader. A few bigger paragraphs then having the rest as they stand would give variety and help with the speed. Not something major or wrong, just something one can consider if doing a rewrite or edit. Since this doesn't need to be super long, you don't need to make it a novella or anything but a little more could bolster the sad romantic story that is created here.

Nice work!


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


~~Image ID# 1850193's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
An excellent activity that helps shape prep work for people taking part in the challenge. I'm a big fan as someone who not only takes part but also helps with the coaching in recent years. Each activity make sense and is given enough time to help a person prepare an idea to get ready for the challenge of actually writing.

I do have one suggestion for the calendar and it's something that I've been trying to work on or remember when creating items on here. In the past, I would haven to thought twice about leaving the font size to the standard. Some reviewers have mentioned difficulty in the past for reviews of things that I've written. I have also found that on some days my eyes are a little irritated, possibly related to some current medical issues. The basic point here is that it would help if the font was bigger like 3.5 or 4. Making the headers a little larger to the 5 or so will help to keep them apart from the pain aspects with the different topics and lists for each day.

Other than that, everything is good here.
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)
Hello Vee Vee Author Icon

My name is Dawn and I found the poem on the option for Read and Review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Reactions: This caught my attention since it's a dedication to your mother and that is something relatable, in particular since I had to move in with my own mom. I like the approach and thing it's a good starting point for a poem that could use a little development. Some editing or a rewrite could keep the main basics while maybe playing with lines and structure to have a better flow.

Topic: For many, mom is a topic that they can understand or want to see emphasized in a poem. You do have a good start point in making sure people know what the poem is about with the title and description. If possible, I would add the commas in the title like they are put in the last line of the poem. It doesn't look quite right without. Though it could be cut out because of the title limitation, if putting them in is too long for the web site, I would cut the title down to just My Mother or My Rock.

Suggestions and Final Thoughts: I do have some suggestions to make. These are my thoughts on development for the poem but just based on my opinion and poetic experience.

I would cut out the title at the top of the poem. Since the web site has a specific spot for the title, you don't need to have it placed above the poem.

One of the issues is that some of the lines cave more than one sort of sentence or thought. Like near the very end. I do like how there are only two lines at the end but it feels more like three. The first line of how special she is and how proud you are should be split into two. However, I do think some of the lines would sound better if reworded in a way to not end with "are" or "be". Like I'm aware that the sentence can end that way but it will sound stronger with a little changing of sentence structure.

Four line stanzas are standard but not necessary since you aren't following a particular form. In the first stanza things could be moved into more lines for the stanza. You could end the first line at "younger". The third line could be divided better so that you don't need to use more than one and within a sentence.

The third stanza could use a rewrite. In particular, the first line because there is a typo or incorrect writing. "Then grew I little" needs rewording.

Also, some of the lines need more commas added if they are kept that way. Such as:
"You are my rock,
my savior when I needed you most.
You never gave up on me
even when I felt ____"

Just some ideas. You can rework and fix things how you see fit or keep the same. Thank you for sharing and keep writing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of When We Part  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello Teller of Tales Author Icon,

My name is Dawn and I found your poem while searching for something to review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing on the site.

Initial Thoughts: This is a short poem that has a melancholy type feel to it with a topic that will resonate in different individuals with a soft touch. It has a good point to provide as a reminder for us about how we communicate to loved ones with the fact that we don't know what will happen next or how long we may have on this realm. Within three small stanzas, you do well to give a message to someone close to you if it's one that you share.

Form: The form used is fairly simple with the four lines per stanza, which is something people are drawn to write and is a familiar approach for readers to appreciate as well. Repetition at the end is done with purpose, which helps and keeping to to a small amount of stanzas makes it so the repeated words aren't overdone. I'm not the biggest fan of repetition when it is done often but this one is fine.

{bTopic: That tomorrow will never come and what messages we leave people with at the end is a common topic. Even sitcoms tough on the issue, worrying about ending a phone call in a fight and if that was the last conversation they ever had. Of course, they would call back to say something nicer and that they loved them but fighting would happen again so then they would have to go do something that they had been fighting about not doing. Still, it's a good point and for those that are holding grudges in particular. We think there is time later to deal with it but we don't know if that's true. We don't know how much time we have left.

Suggestions and Final Thoughts: I like the poem in general. The only nitpicky comment that comes to mind is the wording of the first line. Like, I get the point and it's important to the overall message but there is something about how it is worded that stirs up the questions of maybe there is a better way to say it while keeping the point that needs to be made. Maybe something like "There is no promise of tomorrow" or "Tomorrow is not promised to us" or something of that nature. That just is what my brain says. Others might have different opinions. I do see the poem is a few years old so you may or may not want to edit. All up to you.

Thank you for sharing the poem on the site and for doing so over the years.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Eye of the Storm  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hi there, Jeff Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today in connection with "I Write in 2025 "  [13+] since I posted in the forum after you. You're making good progress and still stand a chance to make it up to the 25 count is daily challenges and such have good prompts.

Initial Reaction: You have quite an interesting piece because the start is story focused that sets up the scene then you have the three line stanza poem as the other "half" as it seems. They are connected to each other by the topic and helps to create the trepidation of the conflict the prompt creates. On one hand, it feels a little incomplete. Like I might be missing something. On the other hand, it works well to create that mood setting so we know something terrible is going to happen but we don't have the witness after the calm moment ends to show the experience, perhaps.

Contest/Prompt: The contest is a good one as we both have entered Writer's Cramp over the many years of being on the site. The prompt was a challenge for sure. It's not easy to set up that specific scene. Some people will have more experience with tornadoes approaching compared to others, beyond what movies like Twister have shown. I would say the only potential problem could come if a judge is very specific to holding to all elements of the prompt from the questions it asks. I just bring that up because it does ask how the people handle the situation. So, this entry might miss that part because we don't get to see the disaster that happens next even though there may be a good reason.

Final Notes and Other Thoughts: Overall, this is a tough call but still a good entry. I liked the use of the prose element setting everything up but having it end with the poem. This is a nice change up from how some people start novel chapters with poetry then use the prose.

Nice work and keep writing!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.
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Review of Easter Dresses  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Hello Roari ∞ parties on ... 🥳 Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I decided to review your poem after finding it through the Read & Review function here. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: You caught my attention with the first line, since the features shows random things to read then I didn't end up picking it from the title or description. Those get noticed a little later at times when I'm using the source for finding things to review. Everything combines well though, with different ways to entice a potential reader since there is the title, the description that connects with that plus you have a pretty image where some might see these elements and want to read the poem.

It's a cute poem, overall. There are descriptive elements along with particular items or details that will be something a reader can connect with on a personal level.

Imagery: You do really well with the imagery here with just your word choices. The trick here is to find the right words that give the reader the picture without having to go into a long winded description section that doesn't fit in poetry and would risk coming off boring at times in novels. It is the words like the "pianist's hands" and the "faded green Singer" that really help create an image in the readers heads. I don't know what machine my grandma uses, as she does hem and stuff, or she used to do that. However, I have my great grandmother's Bernina sewing machine and it's got so much history involved plus sentimental value.

Other parts later do similar with the talk of books and giving these aspects to really develop the characters shown in the poem.

Minor Suggestions and Final Thoughts: There might be some ways to adjust to get the flow to go a different way. Perhaps some editing might add a little strength as you could consider how punctuation and sentence structure might influence the end result. On could even say it might be a good idea to just use capital letters on the lines that are the start of the sentences and not do it for every single line, but that is more personal preference.

The main thing I would suggest is to increase the font size to a 3.5 or a 4. I'm doing most of my writing items as a 4 now, even the novel chapters that are private, so only I can read them. It just helps my eyes and others so we can read things better on the different electronic devices, whether it's a laptop, tablet or phone.

Other than that, I just want to say that this is well done. It's a pleasant poem that I appreciated getting the chance to read. Have a good week and keep writing!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Evolutionary?  
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hello fyn-21 wdc years and writing! Author Icon!

I was searching for a poem or story to review today and this one caught my attention. So, I hope you don't mind me sharing my random thoughts. I might ramble as this has really provoke some memories. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Thoughts: This is quite an interesting and thought provoking poem. The title is the first thing that grabbed my attention. For some, it is in some ways a controversial topic because of the time frame and the whole aspect of evolution. That is where they might go with the reaction to the poem or commentary aspect of what you have created. For me, I don't remember the details from when I was in school but I do have a memory unlocked from working in behavior therapy when I was doing in school sessions with a pre-teen.

One of the classes that he had where I was with him involved homework over the different stages of the neandrathal and homo-habias or umm, I should google the exact words but you get my direction, I hope. Part of the class, I was mostly trying to get the student to pay attention and not use his laptop when it wasn't laptop time. Then it was try to do the homework with the work sheets on the different aspects for who did hunting, what aspects do we see as civilization and such but in somewhat easy language.

Your poem brings me back to those days along with giving self reflection with the understanding of finding a place that makes you feel so small. Thinking about our little gemstone on the diamond painting of our days, it's a thought that can go many different ways.

Thoughts and Suggestions: Overall, this is a great piece that I hope other people will find. It's also something that could maybe be expanded upon. Either with this one or you can do another with similar wording or line focus but with even more added so that there are stanzas. I have a feeling of uncertainty with the center alignment. I tried out the left alignment just to see and it would require some adjusting with combining a line or two but would be good for a longer version. Still is okay at the center and I'm sure others will still like it this way.

Nice work and thank you for sparking ideas with the thought provoking way you approached this topic. Keep writing. *Smile*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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