A very creative and unique take on an unusual picture. I really liked this short because it's well balanced between creepy and humorous, something that's hard to do. The rhythm of words and pacing works well, and the accent is what pulls it all together into a vivid picture of just how a little boy in a halloween costume could end up holding a skull for a reason other than the typical holiday cuteness.
I think āSpring Revisitedā is a wonderfully unique take on the change of seasons, and it wasnāt at all what I expected which is a good thing! Itās refreshing as a reader to discover a completely new take on a topic as old as time.
You paint the imagery very well, and I had no trouble picturing the landscape as a cold, barren, yet living, breathing thing. As a reader I could feel the passion behind each choice of word, each metaphor, and I also felt as though the winter was ominous and oppressive in not wanting to give up its hold on the earth, at war with the inevitable change heralded by the sun; an emotional experience Iāve never had reading about the seasons, so BRAVO!
The only thing that pulled my attention away from the scene for a brief moment was the use of the word ādismalā twice in the third paragraph. I also felt the use of some adverbs added unnecessary emphasis on descriptions youāve done such a fantastic job describing. Iāll give two examples to better explain what I mean:
āā¦is shredded into strips of gray, scattered across a faint blue sky as the sun relentlessly tears at them.ā I think it would be just as effective without "relentlessly" because "shredded" does a great job of setting that tone.
āNo longer does it carry the bitter howl of triumph over the land it sweeps tirelessly [across].ā Two small things here:
1) You may wish to consider changing the wording slightly so the sentence doesn't end with a preposition, i.e., "No longer does it carry the bitter howl of triumph as it sweeps across the land."
2) I think you could leave "tirelessly" out because I find it at odds with the clear image you convey in the next sentence where you write, "No, its howl is silenced into a moan of agony..."
Again, these very small points are nothing more than my personal preference, and is intended only to offer another possible perspective. Also, since this is the first review Iāve written, I apologize if anything Iāve written is unclear, because I do say this prose is āVery Well Doneā!
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cheekyone
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 4:10pm on Aug 30, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
