woah that piece was beautiful I liked it a bunch maybe you should consider making it longer, there's nothing wrong with it now but if it was a little longer then you will have people crying
SOME IDEAS:
"Life is so unfair
The rich get richer and the poor (get) disgraced
(People get killed because of a different race) THEN
Is religion the answer?"
Just to Try to make it longer maybe you should speak more about religion
and how it has affected you in any kind of way
Keep up the writing!!!!
-Chankleta