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199 Public Reviews Given
553 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

This is a beautifully descriotive piece about the beach. It's lovely and serene. I don't have a lot of comments about it except that you seemed unhappy with it. My only suggestion is that if you wanted to spice it up a bit, you could maybe pull out your thesaurus and spruce up the word quality. The choice of words used can often bring a poem from ordinary to extrordinary. I personally think the poem is nice in it's simplicity.

If you have any comments, questions or concerns reguarding this review feel free to email me, I am always willing to help.






'the one and only BlackStump'
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Review of Prom Queen  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Okay, you got me. I thought from the title that this sounded humorous, and wow it so isn't. I got to the end and my jaw literally dropped. OK now that it's back closed...

I didn't realize completely until the last line what was really going on, I had a few ideas of course, but I didn't totally get it... then like I said BANG. LOL. Great job. :D


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Review of My Poetry  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
A folder with more folders.... how intriguing. I am out of review time for now, but will return to your port to read some of your masterpieces, for now, I'll give your lovely folder an awesome rating and try to get your work a little attention :D. I shall return...
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Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
First Impression:
Ok, it says a short story, but I felt a bit confused at the begining, like something was missing somewhere. Maybe a little more background info would help.
Plot:
The exact plot was a little unclear beyond a guy being in love, and I gather he's been in love before.
Characters:
There wasn't a lot of info on either character, just a conversation.
Grammar:
I found no errors in grammar or spelling
Final Impression:
This was a good dialogue piece, and it was very believable in that way. I did think it needed more to it, but with a little bit of detail it could be awesome.




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'THE ONE AND ONLY'
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Review of The Keeper  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
First Impression:
I must be honest and say that a fantasy of this type is not something I would normally go out of my way to read. It is though, very imaginative, and well written. I did find the initial part where he turned into the zebra a little confusing, but I think that worked well with the story.
Plot:
The plot was well developed, and told a nice story about a battle between good and evil.
Characters:
The character descriptions allowed a nice peek into the personalities of the charactersand gave the reader a good sense of who they were.
Conflict:
Traditional conflict of man versus himself, in that the young boy was there for a bad deed, but turned his ideals sround quickly.
Grammar:
I found no grammatical errors or typos.
Final Impression:
This story has many undertones concerning the goodness and badness in all people, and how sometimes it's so easy to do the wrong thing, yet most often the right thing will overcome. I enjoyed the story quite a bit even though it wasn't my usual read.



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'Jadedusk'
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Review of Dark Skin  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.5)
I like this one a lot. I love the darkness of it (I am a dark poet as well).

The imagery is vividly descriptiveand paints the picture for the reader very well.

I found no errors in punctuation or spelling.

It had a very nice rythym to it. The words flowed well from one line to the next.

Overall a well done piece of poetry and a pleasure to read.


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'THE ONE AND ONLY'

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Review of I hate you  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
The emotion in this poem is heart wrenching, and to me that is the most important thing about poetry, the feeling. I did find some typos and I think the punctuation could be done differently. If you'll indulge me here...

This is the way you have it...

"Every time I see your face,
It’s always full of hate,
and every time i see your eyes,
their always just so angry,
You do things to spite me,
You go out of your way to hurt me,
but don’t give a crap if I need your help.
I just don’t know what to do anymore,
People say that your being protective,
but it seems that you try to make me cry,
I can’t handle this anymore,
when will you move away,
I can’t sleep when your around,
You pick on everything I do,
I don’t want anything from you,
I thought that you were supposed to care for me,
I don’t love you, big brother,
I hate you...
I hate you so much."

These are the changes I would make, to help with flow and rythym...

(Every time I see your face
It’s always full of hate,
and every time I see your eyes,
they're always just so angry.
You do things to spite me;
You go out of your way to hurt me.
You don’t even care if I need your help.
I just don’t know what to do anymore.
People say that your being protective,
but it seems you like to make me cry.
I can’t handle this anymore.
When will you move away?
I can’t sleep when your around,
you pick on everything I do.
I don’t want anything from you,
I thought you're supposed to care for me.
I don’t love you, big brother,
I hate you!
I hate you so much.
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Review of Hollow Echoes  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
This piece is very well written. Overall I enjoyed it a lot. It flows well, and follows the rhyme pattern you set out well. It sounds soft and pretty like a poem should. As for imagery and word usage, both are ieal, you used such clear descriptives I can clearly envision it, while the words chosen are not too simple and not too complex, making it a really easy to follow piece.
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Review of Imprints  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
The moral in this piece is one that as a parent myself is extremely relevent to my everyday life. I applaud the message. I do however think the poem needs a little bit of work. It doesn't flow together almost at all, and the way it's written it's like 2 very large run on sentences. I think both would be improved if you chopped the longer lines in 2, and changed the punctuation some, breaking it into smaller sentences. I believe this would also help the flow.
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Review of Tree Of Love  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Lovely piece. It has a good rhythym overall and follows the rhyme scheme very well. The only place I feel maybe a little adjustment is the last stanza. I feel the line "That seems to scream, "Brighter day"!" seems to throw the rythym of just a bit. All I would probably suggest would be a slight adjustment of the words or something.
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Review of When It Mattered  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Such a woeful tale this poem tells. In my opinion, it doesn't flow like a poem especially a sonnet should though. The lines just don't seem to lead into each other. It seems to follow the prescribed form but just doesn't sound right in a few places to me.
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Review of It's A Life  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hehehe, very simple, but it sounds soooo much like my dog. All she ever seems to want out of life is a good pat, or a belly rub... technically thie is a simpler yet well written piece. It has a good pattern to it, and flows well. Short and sweet. Way to go!
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Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
Hahaha. Almost humorous in the way it speaks of disliking poetry, in a poem. What a neat idea. It flows very well, and has a nice rhythym to it. It goes rather quickly, but fits well with the theme. I love how you included little bits about some of the classics... added to the ambaince. Good job!
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Review of My Nasty Habit  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.0)
I assume this is a poem related to your life, and I applaud you for quitting, and giving up your battle with smoking. I have not accomplished that yet. In the way of poetic merit, I think there are a few places where this poem is a little weak.

"Today will be the day I will fight my bad habit.
I saw a commercial about a turtle and a rabbit."

like in the above quote, there are a few places where I find the words used for te rhyme were just used to make the rhyme, and don't make actual sense to the poem. Pehaps a rhyming dictionary will be helpful to find a more appropriate word. Here's the link for thr free online rhyming dictionary I use ....

http://www.rhymer.com/

I also find the rhythym of this poem a bit stilted, even though it shouldn't be with the line lengths and such. It just sounds choppy almost all the way through instead of poetic like it should.

I do love the message in this poem, and think with a little work it could be a really good poem. I hope this review was of some help to you.... Have a great day.
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Review of Alive  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
I really liked the form you used for this one. It reads well, and looks appealing to boot. I like the use of the shorter lines... makes it go by fast almost in a hurried manner, but that suits this piece.
I'm not sure what "The blinds rattle,The walls crack and collapse," has to do with the rest of it, and I had to read it a few times to realize it was a coffin... Perhaps a little clarification is needed? Just a suggestion. My fave thing about it si the darkness... dark poetry is my favourite genre. Have a great night.
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Review of After You'd Gone  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
It is obvious that this poem comes from the heart, andthat is the most important thing in poetry. I do have a few suggestions however. First, in the second stanza, I think there may be a word missing in this line "I didn't you were like that,"
Second, I think starting a sentence in the 4th stanza, and finishing it in the 5th makes it a bit awkward. In free verse there are no rules about where or when you should split the stanzas, so perhaps adjusting that may be a helpful idea. I really enjoyed this piece, Thanks for sharing it *Smile*






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Review of When we first met  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (3.5)
It's a very nice sweet poem, with good imagery. I do have 2 suggestions, however. First, the flow of the piece is way off, I think if you even out the lines either by syllables, or simply by length it will help some. Second it is my opinion, that poetry needs punctuation as much as any piece of writing, so the reader knows how you intended it to be read. Otherwise, the theme of lost love mabye rekindled love is very clear, and the emotion is well done. You may also want to run the spell check I found at least 3 typos. eg.cahllege, togather, would'nt, belive
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Review of Because Of You  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
The emotional impact of this poem is great. It has a clear theme, and is well described. I did find it read a bit choppey in spots, but nothing a little tweaking wouldn't help.
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Review of Continuous  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)
This is a great idea for a poem, with a very clear message. I do think it's word usage is a bit simplistic though, and enhancing the words, and the imagery, could take this poem to a better place. I really liked how you balanced the long and short lines, to kind of display the way the time was passing. I also liked the way you switched it up at the end by saying you wanted it to be over. A job well done.
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Review of Time passes  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
All I have to say about this one is WOW! I have been feeling rather old the last couple days, so I just happened upon this piece at just the right time. You have done such a marvelous job on this one too. YAY!
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Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Theme:

The theme of accepting and enjoying life is well defined, and described. Great job.

Imagery:

Pituresque imagery. Also well done.

Word Quality:

The word choices are very good, not to difficult, and yet not to ordinary as well

Rhyme Scheme:

Impeccable rhyme sheme.

Rhythym/Flow:

I found it off a bit rhythymically, but the message and tone make up for this.

Overall Impressions:

A well written piece.

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Review of On Progress  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
What a beautifully descriptive poem. The imagery is very well done, and fills my mind with pretty peaceful images. Your word usage is also well done, and the chosen words flow well together. Overall a very good piece. Keep up the good work.
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Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
WOW, what an awesome piece, it's full of pretty imagery, and great description. The word usage is good, and they flow well together.

My fave part is...

"I crack the wooden window up
Invite the morning in for tea"

The idea of having a nice peacful cup of tea on such a beautiful morning, is such a relaxing idea. This is an awesome piece. Hvae a great weekend. Dawn.
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Review of Nicotine Maiden  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
So true. This poem flows well, with a really good rhyme sceme. I'm not sure I would have added the swear words, I would have tried to find alternate words that worked the same. It's your piece, though, not mine, and they worked ok with the style of this one. I actually almost laughed at the truthfulness of this one, being a smoker myself....
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Review of The Moment  
Review by D. Palmer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)
This time, along with the funereal music there were two words reverberating over and over, “bankruptcy” and “failure.”
Jack walked in the front door somehow fantasying that his wife and daughter would be (maybe funereal is an typo?}

My only other concern is why some paragraphs are indented, while others are not?

Overall, I find it a very sad story that father and son had to come to these terms. I really felt badly that they never reached some sort of understanding...
It is well written with good description, good charater development, clear conflict and resolution... Great job.
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