Wow... this was pretty deep in my opinion. If this is actually a true story, then please send my regards to Brooklyn if you are able to contact her. After reading this, I had a feeling, kinda like wanting more. If you have any other stories like this, or a continuation of this one, I would be happy to read it. I guess, reading this made me thirsty? Anyways, the only feedback I can give is to work on sentence structure, or "Grammar" (Ex: Periods, commas, transition words). Otherwise, well done!