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By nickNotesFrom the CommunityCommunityTrendingMost ReactedReacted
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Notes by nick, in chronological orderNotes by nick
nick  Author Icon
I like to shower the way Frank Sinartra did.
And so I face the vinyl curtain.
*Music2* Start spreadin' shampoos... *Music2*
Ðåvê R¥åñ Author Icon - I am slow today. I didn't get the first remark until after I read yours!
nick  Author Icon
I used to be in a band called "The Radiators".
I was just the warm up act.
nick  Author Icon
Someone in the pub asked me to name a country with no R in it

I said NO WAY
nick  Author Icon
Has anyone tried blind archery?
If not you don't know what you're missing.
nick  Author Icon
I was helping my partially deaf grandad move home, and I kept on finding wads of money pushed down the backs of chairs and stuffed into rolled up socks.
When I asked him why - this he said that the financial adviser advised him to put his savings into socks and chairs..
nick  Author Icon
This morning I coughed up a pawn a bishop and a knight.
I must have a chess infection.
I've been passing black and white discs, but then again I've had a checkered medical history.
nick  Author Icon
I got mugged by 6 Dwarfs last night.
Not Happy
nick  Author Icon
So I hired a handy man and gave him a list.
But when I got home, only items 1, 3, & 5 were done.

Turns out,
he only does odd jobs!
nick  Author Icon
There's a film coming out about a mobile home,
I just saw the trailer
nick  Author Icon
• Edited
My wife and kids are upset because I put ginger in their curry.
They loved that cat.
nick  Author Icon
I've just won "The Most Secretive Person of the Year" award.

I can't tell you how much it means to me...
nick  Author Icon
The other day, a hospital car park attendant told me

“You can't park here. It's for badge holders only."

I said, "But I do have a bad shoulder!"
nick  Author Icon
Chatting to a woman today she said, "have you got any pets?"
I said "yes I've got a goldfish".
She said "Any hobbies"?
I said "Yes I think he likes swimming".
nick  Author Icon
Just put air in my tyres. Cost me 1whole English pound, it used to be 20p
I suppose that's inflation for you.
nick  Author Icon
The book on chronology I ordered has finally arrived.
It's about time.
Now that one I really like. Clever.
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