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By DeadinsideNotesFrom the CommunityCommunityTrendingMost ReactedReacted
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Notes by Deadinside, in chronological orderNotes by Deadinside
Feeling extremely lonely and low, the only good thing that comes out of it is the great urge to write and write and write...
I always feel as worst in the month of May and this year it is more painful than ever. All I do is lying on the floor and crying as I wish for death. The feelings of loneliness and the total absence of hope to see any future is destroying the very last pieces of what once was me.
Soon it will be June. May is usually my best month... not this year.

I understand the death wish. 😢
Finally I have got the extra money to pay for my account!
Congratulations! I'm glad you reached your goal.
Hi there all of you fellow writers!
I am going to be very proud of myself for writing my first update ever (although I have not finished it yet)! First off and most important for all of us I guess, is to make sure that we are trying to be the best version of ourselves and it includes treating ourselves as good as we are treating our friends. I think you can find one good word in the morning to give the reflection in the mirror a little more cred than you usually do. I think I am an amazing person to be able to watch the reflection and serve a joke about how I manage to make the long walk from bedroom to bathroom (approximately 5 steps) with my eyes still shut and not once have I got lost! But to be able to get some sleep this night I have to get to the point of the question about where I have been for the last two months. I am not joking about this but I have been trying to get some food for me and my homeless daughter. Nowadays it is a line of people that all wants to be fortunated enough to be able to get a bread or anything at all to eat from the trashcans at the back of all the stores that sells food. It can be a pretty good fight for the limited amount of food there is. I have been forced to do some serious thinking about how to do what needs to be done to make sure for the two of my daughters to go to bed with food in their s
bellys. To be perfectly honest I have to swallow my pride and not be afraid to take down as many people as I can to be able to get food. I have a bachelor's degree in the Art of History and a lot of more years of studying in my university education. But I am not sure if I can make it from this day or need to starve my body, making sure I can feed my grown up girls is my top priority. Girl age 25 sleeps in my bed when she runs the risc of freezing to death and otherwise she is a homeless person in a society who doesn't care about the children diagnosed with ADHD and similar. They are just a big problem and they will most likely die in a very young age. They got rid of my brother by the way, he was homeless for 7 years and died in his first flat 11 years ago at the age of 28. My girl age 20 has a social housing flat and the only reason she is not homeless is the fact that she is working full time as a truck driver! Not good enough for a flat in my country. Why don't I just let my own daughters live with me? This one is not a joke; in our country it's a very good reason for an eviction! Please do guess in which country we live in!
I seriously did not know that Sweden is so bad. Everyone in the US thinks Sweden is this wonderful country where everyone's needs are taken care of: free housing, free education, etc. Thank you for sharing your story with us *Hug1**Cry**Hug2*
Feeling tired
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