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By Candied ApplesNotesFrom the CommunityCommunityTrendingMost ReactedReacted
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Notes by Candied Apples, in chronological orderNotes by Candied Apples
*music from 'Frozen'* FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER, CANDIED APPLES WROTE SOMETHING!

I've started a new book called World at My Fingertips, so be sure to check it out!
Wow, I haven't written anything that was good enough to post here in a while. For a long time, ie the past couple months, I haven't been able to put my words together into cohesive thoughts, but I was just too distraught, I think. In the way my muse put it, 'I don't think that every rainy day can be turned into sunshine and rainbows, you're right. But let me help you clear the clouds.' Then again, you can't shoo away clouds if someone clings to them with all their might, so I have to let them be cleared away. My words are finally being put back together, and my world is following.
I think the hardest part about growing up is trying to figure out who you are and where you fit. I don't know how or where I fit in in society, as a person, in many different ways.
Tired of the lies, the hate, the rumors, the anger, the sadness. Tired of it all.
Sometimes the words won't fall into place, my rhythm become ribbons and shards that won't stick together like they should.
If you're in search of On the House, note that the individual chapters have been taken down, and the entire story compiled into one book, and just a warning, it's multiple thousands of words long. (Into the Ashes is in the works!)
Sometimes I have poetry oozing out my pores, sometimes it's tons of fiction/fantasy, and sometimes I have no inspiration and waste my life staring at a blank screen.
You're Your grammer grammar sucks. It's atrocious. Fix it.

"How do you think of this?"

No.
I've just edited an item in my portfolio:
 
STATIC
Autumn Girl  (E)
Written for you, Hails. Don't give up on yourself, even in Winter.
, I've fixed up some of the repetition, and made it just a teeny bit more rhythmic.
Joining a new fandom (Phandom) is always exciting... more people to obsessively ship, another way to ruin and waste my life...lovely. In all honesty though, I don't mind.
Decisions.

I care a little more for him than as a friend, I have no idea how he feels about me, if his flirting means something, or if that's just the way he is. When he said I looked pretty, did he mean it, or was he being nice; when I was told he said I was hot, was I being pranked.

He still has a crush on me, I don't even know how I feel about him anymore. We flirt on a constant basis, and according to everyone, we act like a couple. Was he messing with me when he said he still cared; was he joking when he said he thought I was beautiful, like I've dealt in the past?

When you've been hurt, you stop trusting people not to hurt you. Do you take a chance? What do you do when you like someone, but don't know how they feel? What do you do when someone likes you, but don't know how you feel? It's a dual edged sword, and I would go to the ends of the earth for either of them, I would for any of my friends, but I honestly have no way of knowing if I'm being punked, if I should go for it and ask someone out, if I should give someone another chance. Nowadays, it's all one big mess, and that's something I have to face head on.
Here lies a scribble, full of rage, irritation, annoyance.
I am floating in a mystical whirlpool of broken promises and ruined dreams.
In all honesty, I love bookstores. Thousands of musty pages of knowledge and literature, saturated with the smell of ink dappled pages. Yes, e-readers are convenient, and e-books are often cheaper, but they do not compare with the feel of a book in your hand. Turning the page, eyes skimming, analyzing, understanding, feeling, and in a tangible form that's yours to hold. On a kindle, you read over and over, and it doesn't show. It doesn't have creased catty corners, a well worn spine, and pages crinkly crackling with age. Does technology offer a reasonable replacement for beloved books, with enrapturing words built with character as every reader flips through pages?
"You have to be able to be put with any group of people in this room and be able to work together and create a comprehensible piece of art."

I don't work well with people, especially not ones who I don't already have established connections with, seeing as socially, one may compare me to chopped liver. I cannot be expected to be able to easily work with people I don't know, and communicate with them on a friendly, open level. I don't understand anymore than anyone else does, but I seem to have been absent on the day we were taught social skills. I don't easily form bonds to create lasting relationships with other human beings, and it's not easy to communicate my ideas to others, especially because when I do so, I am often told to shut up, even at church. I don't really know how I can handle being thrust into a situation such as that, and immediately begin working with others; I do not possess the skills necessary to do that. And here I am, able to write a whole paragraph about my social skills (or lack thereof), but I cannot comprehensively communicate with a human without help of a friend or family member.
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