Please follow an 18+ rating.*
Leave a scribble for AlexzJournal.net...
Bold | Ctrl+BItalics | Ctrl+IUnderline | Ctrl+UStrikethrough | Ctrl+Shift+XHide - Click to RevealSuperscriptSubscriptColorFont TypeText SizeHighlightText AlignmentLine SpacingIndentQuote | Ctrl+Shift+Q@ Symbol - Mention User/ItemInsert EmoticonUpload Photo (Premium Required)SnippetsCreative ToolsCode ViewEditor SettingsUndoRedoToggle Fullscreen
13+ and below
  • E for Everyone
  • ASR and below
  • 13+ and below
  • 18+ and below
  • GC and below
  • No Filter
Notes by AlexzJournal.net, in chronological orderNotes by AlexzJournal.net

I don’t know how to feel about myself anymore
Can I be any different
I know I am different from when I was younger
But am I everything I thought I would be?
The answer would be no, not at all
And I don’t know how to be
And I don’t know if I want to or even can
I know I feel shitty about myself
And maybe because of that it may affect others around me, or I could just be all in my head thinking that I’m hurting everyone else around me when I might not be
And because of that, that could be hurting people because I don’t know how to help myself..
Or maybe I just don’t want to
I don’t know how to be happy
And I hate it.
Not know how to be happy, I don’t hate that
I hate that I purposely make myself not happy and have no motivation to even try doing so
Hey Alex, I get where you're coming from and I want you to know that you're not alone. WdC is a great writing community that offers tons of resources to help you improve your writing as part of a community, and through that you can work towards figuring out who you are and maybe even gain some self-acceptance and self-confidence. The people here are awesome, but WdC is just one tool that's available to you for dealing with such painful emotions about yourself and your life. Shoot me an email if you want some help finding other tools and resources. I was on that road of self-loathing for years, and I still visit it occasionally. I gotta tell ya, you're always changing, and you can do this.
* Content and content ratings in this area are monitored solely by this member. Page owners have the ability to remove posts and/or block posters who do not follow the content rating or who post unwanted content. In addition, each member can block/ignore another member using the Block/Ignore Members" link on the Account Options screen.