Confused

I was confused when writing this poem and still am i put it on here to see what you think

I’m sitting here confused at all the things I said
Loud, but you can’t hear them the words echo in my head

I feel like I’ve ruined the only chance I ever had
The truth is though that deep inside, I’m not even sad

I know that even though right now things aren’t going good
I can always turn to you just like you said I could

When the rain is pouring down and I’m walking all alone
You’ll come walk beside me, the reason still unknown

For now I will wait for you to call me your true love
Deep inside my heart I know you’re my angel from above

Why did God give me this challenge after all that I’ve been through?
And why is it after all of this I’m still in love with you

I feel like screaming, feel like crying, feel like nothings right
I feel as if no matter what you hate me day and night

But than I look around me at my family and friends
And realize that down the road my broken heart will mend

All this nonsense, all this pain you have put me through
Will come back twice as hard, once I stop loving you