Middle of nothing

This poem is in my oldest diary.After flipping it one day, I found this.

In the middle of nothing
Looking down the street and walking
Seeing things that aren’t there
Hoping for a chance encounter
Just to take me unaware

I recall some sacred moments
Things that never came to pass
All those simple, simple wishes
Crashing, breaking into glass

And the sky all clear and sunny
Should be blurry, dark and gray
I try to hold a black umbrella
Just to keep the sun away

Why this utter, deep depression
Gnawing on my some-what soul
What is it that I’m regretting?
Who am I and what’s my goal?

There’s a circus all around me
And there I am, inside the ring
But just like always, no one's noticed
I’m in the middle of nothing