Limbo

... waiting ...

This state of limbo is the worst -
daring to settle into routines
which might be interrupted without warning
but always slightly on edge
waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The longer we are without
any clear answers
let alone any clear questions to ask,
we are lulled into relaxing
letting down our guards
and momentarily allowing hope
to steal into our hearts
before reality chases it off again.

It's more of the same
day after day -
the same day repeated
over and over and over again
through these dog days of summer.
Yet all the while
knowing that he is escaping our grasp -
unable to see it happening.

It was almost easier in the beginning
in spite of the shock and devastation -
for at least then there were
things to do
and things to feel
and tears to shed
and anger to rage.

And I suspect
selfishly
it will be easier at the end
in spite of the shock and devastation
for at least then there will be
things to do
and things to feel
and tears to shed
and anger to rage.

But now
this state of limbo
this waiting game
is the worst.