the life i've walked

glimpses into my past

crying melodies,
the crowd pities me.
the piano keys afraid of my fingers
shrink away from my touch.

my toes are entrenched in golden sand
salt water rises to greet them.
i am pulled and pushed with the tide,
becoming-
for a short time-
a creature of the water
a child of the waves

my father grips my arm,
his voice fills every crevice of the room.
spoken holy words line my face,
wrinkling my eyes and aging my spirit.
but my father's love and pride sinks into my soul,
and as i am dipped into the water below
i feel heavy with my newfound knowledge
that i am loved so deeply.
not by an unknown god, but by my own dad.
tears fall,
one by one,
into the baptismal font.

my limbs ache now.
the path I've chosen is bloody.
but my fingers are stained with the paint of the piano keys
and my toes have felt sun bleached water
and my arms have wrapped around my dad.
i have always been the life i have walked.