Carry Forever

A bittersweet goodbye- TW for miscarriage/abortion references

         To carry you forever, means losing myself.
To carry you forever, means I lose my time.
         To carry you forever, means making many sacrifices.
To carry you forever, is my greatest fear.
         To carry you is something I cannot do.
I cannot carry you, I cannot raise you, not without hurting the both of us in the process.
         I am afraid I cannot love you enough, at least not without hating us first.
To carry you is commitment, something I will never be ready for.
         To carry you is loveless, I will never be able to love you unconditionally.
So to my unfortunate future, I am sorry.
         I could never truly want you, I am sorry.
To carry you forever, is something I was never made to do.
         I am sorry.