Ernest P. Worrell & Old Lady Hackmore

Epitaphs for characters from Ernest Scared Stupid

I
This is the grave of Ernest P. Worrell
A man of destiny, the great redneck hope
He tried to help and raise moral
But raised a troll - what a dope!



II
Here lies Old Lady Hackmore
Guardian of the forest, watcher of the Oak
She is the holder of the historical lore
Seeking to keep out the crazy, dopy folk.


Notes ▶︎

Written for "13 Poetic Days of Halloween Contest 2025" 
Day 12 Epitaph
An epitaph is a brief poem inscribed on a tombstone praising a deceased person, usually with rhyming lines.

Example #1:
What happened to me, was not good,
Hit by a car, bounced off the hood,
Would get up, if only I could,
Now here I lay, where once I stood.
Copyright © 2001 Lorraine Nisbet

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/epitaph.html

Lucky you, Ernest P. Worrell and Old Lady Hackmore need their epitaphs for their headstone.

Topic-- A surprisingly scary kids’ comedy, Jim Varney’s fourth film as Ernest P. Worrell finds the local yokel trying to protect area kids from an evil troll accidentally let loose on Halloween night. The creature design is adequately wet and putrid for preteens who love it when things get gross and Varney’s physical humor plays to the rafters. The plot machinations owe plenty to the “Leprechaun” series, but it has a light touch and decidedly wacky tone. Come for the schoolyard one-liners (“How ’bout a bumper sandwich, Boogerlips?”), stay for the wild performance from Eartha Kitt as the flamethrower-wielding Old Lady Hackmore. — W.E. Movie- Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)