I Am My Salvation

Admiring my own strength

When I was with you, I became an expert in starvation
Able to live off crumbs for weeks at a time
Portioning love like you trained me to do
Only too much because I wasn't being given enough

When I was with you, I became an expert
On the difference between alone and lonely
One was a choice
The other an unfortunate affliction
That came at your heels versus my wheels

When I was with you, I became an expert in deception
In the detection and implementation of either
I read lies like tea leaves now
While my own face remains a Trojan horse
Deceptive to all, even myself

When I was with you, I became an expert at seen and not heard
The silence between us the loudest part of our existence
And so my mind became my sanctuary
Amen and hallelujah

When I was with you I became an expert in detachment
Knowing you'd never really belong to me the same way I belonged to you


When I was with you I became an expert in salvation
How to save money. How to save time. How to save me and mine...
But I never could figure out how to save you or us and
Eventually I had to choose who to rescue