Talking to Strangers Who Claim to be Kin

Uncomfortable conversations are really about things unsaid.

1. Be polite even though things feel strangely (un)familiar:
How are you?
Oh…I’m good
Where are you living now?
I’m living in DC
Oh really, for how long?
Oh I’ve been here more than 10 years
Oh wow…(awkward pause #1)...weather good?
Yeah fine…


2. When things get uncomfortable just go with the flow:
Everyone was talking about you at the funeral service
Oh really?
Yeah - yeah everyone was wondering how you were doing...How old are you now – can I ask?
I’ll be 50 in August
Wow…has it been that long?
(Awkward pause #2)...Yeah, it has…
(Long sigh) You know your dad really should have kept up with you...
(Awkward pause #3)...Yeah…that would have been nice...


3. Close as soon as you can with something generic and – be thankful that it’s almost over:
Well, when are coming to visit?
Oh…I don’t know…there’s a pandemic right now
Oh right, right…
But I hope you’re all staying healthy and safe
Oh yeah, we’re all doing fine down here
That's good...well…I’ll talk to you soon
OK...Take care…