Ever So

some thoughts on grief

We lost him three months ago.

it's impossible that this much time has passed,

but impossible things seem to keep happening

with unrelenting ease.

Impossible things used to seem exciting.

I no longer feel excited by the thought.



The world has not turned as it should since that day.

My body has rejected the idea that he is not here.

I hate that day.

I hate it in the most childlike way.

I hate it with my entire body,

with each breath that I take,

with every laugh that manages to escape my lungs.



I miss him.

The sky misses him, the birds miss him,

the lakes and the streams and the clouds

and the grass and the mountains and the flowers

and the moon and stars miss him.



Everything is less bright, but blinding ever so.