you were gone

just in time september decided to show its true colors

~you were gone just in time september decided to show its true colors~


i can still feel
how longing tasted
when you put down the book
and settled your eyes on me

how the distance
between us grew
like an open road in Colorado
when you race
with sun

and my heart
was ready
to jump overboard
as it usually does
when it gets attention

but the ocean
was too cold
and a heart didn't need
a thousand knives
cutting through it
so it decided
to stay

my fingers
were at crisis
trying to tell you
i too was an open book

if you only
reached out
and flipped through

or maybe
you already knew me
better than i knew myself
and my demons

so you
remained silent
after reading
the excerpt

august stretched
between us
intimate and golden
this year

but now
when september
is already here
i cuddle up
with the ghost of you

and my body gets cold
like restless ocean
when he hugs me back
to show me
you are truly gone
____________________________________

Sometimes I throw the book across the room in a protest of missing you.