04.19.2021 // lemniscate

On the back and forth

In, and out.
In,
And out.
I watch the silent swoop of the turbine blades.
The tops disappearing into fog, and then slicing their way back out again.
I stare out the window in silence
And vacillate back and forth
Between destroying us,
Is there even anything to destroy anyway?
And hoping that you'll come over when I get home.
Slip your arm around me.
Pull my clothes off to get to my skin,
Let me bite your lip the way I like,
Inevitably find my hand at some point
And marry your fingers into mine...
I love it when you do that...
Reach for my thigh so I can pull you deeper
Into this perfect space... Do this again,
And again.
And again...

This is the loop inside my brain
And it wonders how long
It and I can live like this.
The head, the heart.
The push, the pull.
One of them needs a mercy kill.
I honestly don't care which.
In, or out.