How Best To Serve Children

A witty piece of satire

The debate on how to best serve children
has been raging through the ages.

Do we spare the rod and spoil the child?
Or
Do we spoil the rod and beat the brat senseless?

Others claim that “The children are our future.”
While yet again
others feel the next generation will be our ruin.

But I think
children are best served
split and splayed like a suckling pig.
Salted and rubbed with extra-virgin olive oil and herbs
then roasted over an open flame
until the fat drips and sputters
and the meat comes tender
falling from the bone.
That is how I feel children are best served.