Fake Facade

I have ripped my own heart from my chest
Yet the pain is a balm to my Soul
The need to rip you away was deeper than the ocean
I am in such agony, such torment, such pain

Why have I done this
Why am I in such agony
Why will it not go away
The reasoning is beyond my ability to understand

They say you are such a happy person
Everyone loves you, loves your smile
Such kindness you generally put forth
With such feelings how can you be so sad, so lonely

This happiness you see emanating forth
That smile that seems as bright as the Sun
All that kindness they feel from me
A fake facade is all it has ever been

This facade hides the pain I feel daily
Covers the sadness that cloaks me with such darkness
The kindness is real, it is what I so desire to feel
When one is sad, lonely, depressed, they learn to hide

I have ripped my heart from within
If I have no heart, thus I cannot feel
Alas, that is what I thought
Such agony, such torment, such pain is what I still feel within

Diane Bingham/03/17/2018