2018 New Year's Resolution

Poem for the Writer's Cramp about New Year's Resolutions

New Year’s Resolution

It's time to lose some weight at last
Not that I haven't tried
Low carb, high carb, and the rest
I'll diet till I die

I like the "sea food" diet best
Eat all the things I see
It doesn't seem to work so well
Just a fatter me

For the year that's starting next
Unlike the year gone bye
I need a plan for shedding pounds
Where pounds will simply fly

The year that's coming to a close
Really did not work
My weight went up, my clothes stretched out
I felt just like a jerk

But now I think I have a plan
To bring my weight way down
No more counting calories
And feeling like a clown

No more starving all day long
Then eating way too much
No more celery for dessert
I'll need no diet crutch

I won't be watching what I eat
Nor weighing out my food
I'll always have a smiley face
Not hungry till I'm rude

I'll have a really huge weight loss
No cares of fork or spoon
I shall depend on gravity
And get weighed on the moon