just so ill

something i wrote to cheer myself up

came in with an illness
not many could sense it but for me it was hard to miss
drawing shit in my mind without my permission
and for a long while it’s all i could do not to give in
but at some point you grow a crack, a fault
louder and louder grows your mind’s tumult

you feel a little thread inside of you snap
and you find flames all over your mind’s map
whatever was holding you back is no longer
and you feel the hope inside you grow much stronger
realize that there was no reason to be bitchin’
because you are you, not your affliction

and if you feel the shit coming back
take yourself and give yourself a good slap
turn your source of respite into a weapon
make motherfucking sure that the bad times are done and gone
because whenever you deal with that bullshit
remember that you are you, not it