Coffee Pariah

Posted on the coffee maker @ work to tease someone who didn't like making coffee.

Woe to the purloiner
who plunders the hallowed last cup.
May the mortal anguish of unendurable guilt
come swiftly unto him.
Let he who dares desecrate this most cherished of vessels
know that it shall unremittingly taint his heart,
his soul;
and that though he may walk among us unrevealed,
a coffee pariah he shall forever be.

One of my co-workers often took the last cup of coffee without making more. This annoyed another co-worker terribly. I posted this on the coffee machine to tease them both.