I want

I want...but...

I want to cry but I have no reason
I want to run but I have nowhere to go
I want to scream but I’m not scared
I want to shove something but I’m not strong
I want to escape but not a situation
I want to overdose but not on pills
I want to live but not like this
So, I don’t cry, run, scream, shove, escape, or overdose
But I live
I want to stand tall but I shrink
I want to be someone but I am no one
I want to make a difference but I fail
I want to be positive but I am negative
I want to lift people up but I pull them down
I want to be perfect but I’m imperfect
I want to be alive but I am dead
So, instead of wanting
I just live