on falling to sleep

a meditation

traffic hum
a chronic freeway buzz
that never stills, even in the wee hours
I understand
shut it out

bullfrog croak
calling--come find me
in carbonated burps
from the fountain in the back
I understand
shut it out

ceiling fan
as it rotates,
I catch a beat pattern
the place where the wave pulses
with more intensity
gentle click of metal
as the dangling switch hits
the unlit fixture
I understand
shut it out

air conditioner
click, whir as it come on
this fan has a stronger beat pattern
a steady: wah, wah, wah, wah
almost too much to ignore
I let myself focus
use the rhythm to imagine a lullaby
I understand
shut it out

helicopter
buzzing, passing
I understand
shut it out

heart beat
body moves with each pulse
it’s inside my brain
I use it
to steady my breath
in, two, three, four
hold, two, three, four
our, two three four five six seven eight
after two breaths it’s automatic
I forget to count
I drift

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