For My Dad

A poem I wrote when I found out my dad was dying.

Waiting
The one word that I hate
Sitting by the phone wishing that it would ring
Wishing that it wouldn’t
Too scared to know what is going on
Too curious to not know

Praying
That you will make it
But I know that I’m grasping at straws
The prognosis is grave
The cancer is too aggressive
We all die eventually

Hoping
That the end is near
So that you are out of pain
But wishing that it was farther away
Cause I want more time with you
We didn’t get enough time

Knowing
That this will soon be the end
I want to be at peace with this
But I can’t
Loosing you when I was just getting to know you
Is so hard

Loving
Every memory of you
Every song you used to sing to me
The books you used to read
The smiles on your face
This hurts

Letting go
I have to give up
I need to let this go
I love you so very much
But I can’t stay in grief
I am finally at peace