Breathe

Written in the early stages of treatment for a severe anxiety disorder.

Tentacles of fear sneak and creep and slither in in the night
Nightmares of creaking doors and unseen things lurking
Waiting in the darkness to be stumbled upon
The light of morning casts illusions, delusions of safety
Staving off, pushing down a haunting uneasiness
When all is still again it has grown

Hiding in a corner, back to the wall
Reduced to rocking, humming, fingers clutching
Keeping brains from spilling out as its heart threatens to explode
A voice repeats like a skipping record
“Idon’tfeelsafeIdon’tfeelsafeIdon’tfeelsafe…”

The remnants of a human being muffles its screams in pillows
As skin crawls and desperation for sedation threatens to overwhelm
It’s a squirming, worm filled, ball of fear
Insides churning, liquefying, taunting-
Better find courage soon…

It tries to think through the screaming of self-set alarms in the mind
Eyes dart about, searching for help, for hope
Slowly, the lead weight lightens, is lifted, a connection is made
A beginning comes.