The wiring of the brain

This is a poem for a contest, what I don't like about myself

The wiring of the brain



I wish I did not have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

If I didn’t, I probably would not now have

Post traumatic stress disorder

Or be on such a high dosage of Paxil



I would be able to move beyond things that happened.

They would not make my mind sick.

When bad things happened, I could move on in my life



Instead of becoming bogged down in strife.

Other people say “don’t let it bother you.”

Or “If you dwell on that, it’ll destroy you.”



They don’t understand

I wish I could pour a bucket of black paint

On many events in my memory



I don’t choose to have things play

Over and over and over and over

It is impossible to turn them off



Even with the Paxil

Which I will probably need forever

I will never be free

Of my OCD