old

this is stupid

writing my thoughts on this is stupid.
but i guess it feels like an outlet.
an outlet to what?
i don't know.
i miss your kisses.
and your eyes.
i miss your bed
your cat
your mom
your laugh
your piano
your brother
your car
your smile
your hands
your clothes
your moms food
i miss a lot about you
i wish things could've worked out for us
the fact that she's in the way and i'm not enough, its not right.
it settles oddly in my stomach.
i fail to look deep into it because i can't keep my mind on it for that long.
it's so hard to try and think about what ended things because not even i am sure.
i wonder if you truly are scared.
but i wonder if you truly are an asshole.
but i have to move on
because if i don't the only thought in my head will be what could've been with you and i know there's nothing left for us.
my only hope is that someday you see how much i loved you.