NOT sad

I was actually sad when I wrote this

i'm on a new quest,
a journey, a life-changing mission
to get myself out of this
depressing position.
don't wanna be dragged down anymore
by this beast of burden;
i need to plan a time-line
for all the things i'll be learnin'.

i'm tired of writing
of how you don't understand.
never told you how i felt,
don't think i ever can.

but i'm dropping the charade,
the facade that is hiding.
the me that i once knew
the one that's always confiding
in the ones that love me,
the ones who can help me cope.
spread some light on my road,
dish out a little hope.
tell me it will better,
and no more stormy weather.

But there's a reason why
they call the first ones 'tough'.
"they don't play by the rules,
never call a single bluff."
it's like you're playing cards,
but all the suits are the same.
a never-ending bet
in a never-ending game.

Game... that's what this feels like to me.
And will be game over when I count to three..

ONE... TWO...