When I Look In The Mirror

A poem on the struggles I've had with my self-image.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see what they tell me I am.

I don't see beauty, I don't see strength.

I see the shell of a tossed aside girl,

Finding no where to fit in the world.



When I look in the mirror, suddenly it's clear.

The mirrors an x-ray of what I hold in my heart.

They deny all my claims, but I know who I am.

I am not in the right state of mind.



And when I look in the mirror,

sometimes I can't help but cry.

I think about the girl I was brought up to be.

What I've done.



I look at my size 8 jeans and say I'm fat.

That's not fat, my mom says.

The mirror tells me different.

I thought the mirror was my friend.



Oh, but it's becoming clear now, the mirror is not good.

They told me to avoid it, and now I wish I would've.

The mirror spits out lies, for it has no body of it's own.

It breaks you apart.



So I took the mirror down, and the next time I look in it.

I'll see the girl who beat this disorder.

I'll see a brand new me.

A pretty, wonderful, beautiful, girl I'm supposed to be.