Growing Panes

Panes of time...

The growing panes of yesterday
once clouded with fear and uncertainty
appear crystal clear
with the rain of time
and finally I see.

I loved you once upon a time,
the very nearness of you
would set my heart on fire,

flames of want
threatened to devour the whole of me.

The soft voice of my name
spoke through your lips
the way your eyes looked at me,

these panes of time...

streaked with the tears
of the insane wishes of a girl
who just wanted to lay in your arms.

The contrasts were too much,
black and white
faded to gray
and they put me away
painted my panes
to mirror what they thought I should see.

Labeled and medicated,
they tried to mold me into the perfect doll,
posed my arms, my head and my smile
placed me on a shelf for all to admire.

Years have passed
and I've found you again,

I'm no longer that doll
who shattered soon after
heart broken for what was not allowed to be.

And through these panes of time,
I finally see,

how little I meant to you.

© BAN