Why? the Hell am i this Insane?

Like a diary.

When you're surrounded by family, and
you have a few great friends
why do you feel so alone?
Mom doesn't get me, all she does
is waste money on beauty
and imply that I'm
FAT.
Her cigarette smoke
a constant reminder that i hate how she
makes me feel.
No friends in fifth grade.
They think i'm nuts. They don't time for me.
Finally get some. School is a blur.
Why am I always so
Sad?
Done with middle school.
Dangit.
Who wants to be old and responsible?
I feel fat.
Cheerleading, lost twenty pounds.
Yay.
Can i lose more?
Boyfriend. I'm afraid.
Why?
Crush on a girl. She's pretty.
Is that really so bad?
Yes. No.
Don't tell.
Is mom having an
Affair?
Who is that guy on the phone all the time?
I strongly dislike that woman.
Nervous.
Illness. A lot.
Why?
Don't go to the doc. No reason.
Wish i were prettier.
Sad. So lonely.
Why? Many Friends.
Quite busy..
Cut.
Just twice. Wanted to see the blood.
Don't tell. Won't repeat.
Tears.
Why the Hell am I insane?
This
  Is
    The
        Real
              Me.
Depression.